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When I speak no one hears

I try to be heard or maybe seen

There is one who always knows I’m there

And she sees me as I am

But even so I feel this void

Deep inside my gut

I can’t sleep sometimes because of fear

Maybe I should disappear

In her eyes I am replaceable

A side note in her world

Whenever I’m not well she’s there

My pain a burden to her

Sometimes I just don’t give a shit

But I always care for her

She speaks of others who are better

Ones who catch her eye

My insides numb

My smile wide

I talk with her at length

I can not cry because I’m not sad

Even though I should be

She’s my world and my reason

I know she won’t like to read this

My death would make my family sad

But only for a while

It her that I stay for

Who I wouldn’t dare hurt

Sometime I wish she wasn’t there

My family all gone away

Then I could give up everything

And end it all today

But I can wait until she leaves

Until my family kicks me out

For now I grab my scissors

My wrist full of cuts

I have a world where people care

But outside no one does

My friend will soon be leaving

She’ll take my will with her

Then I’ll tell my family everything

And they’ll think I’m something bad

I’ll be free to go and give up

Maybe then I’ll feel

But for now the numbness consumes me

Till a feel a blade

Then all I feel is pain

I know this is concerning

But to worry you need to feel

So I’ll let others do that for me

Or I’ll slip away into death