He stole the left sock

To all my best pairs

He unmade my bed

And stomped on the stairs

He swam in my laundry

Like a pile of leaves

He wears all my dress shirts

And wrinkles the sleeves

He helps me with math

And gives all the wrong answers

He took back in the trash

And let out the hamster

He blasts trashy music

And won’t shut the door

He steals all my homework

And untidied my drawers

He keeps me up late

And hits snooze on my alarm

He stole your favorite sweater

And snagged the pricey yarn

He won’t listen when I scold him

He won’t follow any rules

He gets stains on all the furniture

And drags me out of school

You say that I am lying

But you never search under the bed

And then you have the nerve to act shocked

When he bites off the corgi’s head