you fell first,

I fell harder.

you were the worst—

I should’ve been smarter.

I loved you the most,

but you only cared about yourself.

while chasing your ghost,

I became one myself.

I don’t know who I am anymore.

I think I’m going genuinely crazy.

the only eyes looking at me like that were yours.

but I was wrong, my head’s gone hazy.

I’m seeing things,

I’m not alright;

it felt like you gave me wings,

and I wasn’t even right.

I should get the idea out of my head.

they don’t all like me, no, that’s impossible.

_ugh,_ I just want to be older and happy and wed,

but even in the future that might not be plausible.

I’m not pretty, I’m not hot.

I’m not funny, nor all that smart.

I should stop pretending I’m someone I’m not.

I should stick to my role, play my lonely part.