I wanted a father

Like the boys around me

Someone to connect with

And who could play catch

When I was bored

But he’d given up

Much tok quickly

On parenting

And maybe to him

It was a good thing

But I will never not mind

The absence of the man

Meant to cradle me...

I adored cloudy weather

How lovely it was

To see the gray sky

But that was before the flood

In which others close to me

Ended up losing everything

All valuables and sentiments

Were completely

Washed away...

Warping one’s perception

Of themself

A mirror maze in a fun house

Is not so fun when you are trapped

Stuck in perpetuating dead ends

All while having to analyze

Both yourself and your next move

The attraction is not all that different

From my own psychology...

Where I was stitched up by him

I was ripped apart by her

Where he would fix my wounds

With caution and care

She’d simply glue my fabric

Back together again

It took years for me to realize though

He ripped her apart in the same way

In which she tried to change me

Not because she wanted to attack

But simply because

That’s all she had been taught

I am being ripped up

At my seams

But not with il...

Most people enjoy it

Yet, the season that reminds me

Much like the flies outside of my home

There is buzzing inside my head

The kind of buzz that makes me believe

There is nothing more than maggots

Filling my insides

Not because I am rotting

Or because I am dead

Simply because I’ve left out for too long...

My world changed

The day he laid hands

Upon me at fourteen

And maybe it shouldn’t

Have affected me so heavily

But the sensation

Of someone on top of you

As you’re struggling

To push them off

It is terrifying

And something

I wouldn’t ever

Wish upon another...

We had a rocky friendship

I can’t deny

But I believed

We’dstay close

We had to

Somehow stumbling

Through highschool and life

It didn’t matter

As long as we were together

But as my final text

Was left on read

I knew it was the end

I saw your account show up on my feed, and I shouldn’t have, but I opened it. You looked happier, much more than you did with me. And I should have been happy for yo...