It can never be how it was. You’ll never look at me the way you once did. As the blood dries on my knuckles, you can’t take your eyes off me, and at this point I don’t want you too. “Why?” She says as her eyes become swollen and face a bright red. Her expression is the flipping of a coin that never lands, anger and then sadness and then anger again. she can barely utter a word. So she asks again. “Why?” I’m still not entirely sure what’s happening, I look down at an almost lifeless body stuck in a pool of his own blood, occasionally letting out a cough and muddled sigh. “I...I...shit.” I have no words, my mind is trying to recollect the series of events that lead me here but the sirens in the background add pressure. People have started to gather outside the front of the bar and I begin to panic, but I don’t want to run, I don’t want to escape this, whatever it is I’ve done for whatever reason I’ve done it. She begins to cry and beg “You have to go, they’ll be here soon, you have to leave.” She still loves me, even after she sees me for what I really am, what I’ve always been. This isn’t the first time this has happened, I know it won’t be the last. There’s nothing to escape from, no punishment that I don’t deserve, I’m the monster I knew I was I just hope they understand. Once I piece together what the hell happened. I never remember when he takes over, that man in the mirror with those devilish eyes. He is a part of me I never tried to understand, I simply tried to burry him. Guess that was a mistake, he has dug his way out in a series of blackouts that landed me here. The cops pull up tires screeching, all they see is a man standing over a bloody body. They hop out guns drawn. “Down on your knees, hands behind your head” I look at her one last time and smile, I can see her mouth the words “no” she knows I have a pretty large knife in my back left pocket. This is it. Alright you bastard, let’s dance. I reach for my knife and black out, the last thing I hear are the gun shots, her yelling and then absolute silence. A beast like me doesn’t deserve peace, only the violence I wish I could’ve seen.