I don’t think we know how to be human anymore. None of us. It’s too cold here to feel anything. I shiver and every bone in my body aches. Each day I pull myself up from the frozen ground, I think that maybe today I won’t be able. That my body will stick and I’ll never move again. But I keep getting up, I keep moving even though there doesn’t seem to be a point in it anymore. Once the snow and freezing rain started, it didn’t stop for ninety days. That’s what grandma said, anyway. It was long before I was born. The story always reminded me of an ancient book I read in school. It rained for forty days and nights, the lands flooded and killed almost every living thing. If only we had been so lucky. In the book, it was a punishment, though. This wasn’t punishment. At least I don’t think it is, even though it feels like it sometimes. I think this is just what the Earth does when it gets tired of keeping everything else warm and alive. When it wants to finally get some rest for itself. So while the Earth is slumbering away, maybe we were supposed to sleep, too. But we didn’t. We couldn’t. Humans aren’t built that way, to hibernate. We just keep going, keep moving, working and being. Because we don’t know how to stop and be still. Not for very long, at least. But like I said, most of us don’t know how to be human anymore. At least not like we used to be. Like Grandma talked about. Summer days spent running through fields of green grass, the sun high in the sky. A flaming, orange ball of fire heating the entire world. It sounded like a fairytale, but I know Grandma never spoke a word that wasn’t true. It wasn’t in her nature. And she was getting too old to get that creative anyway. She sat quietly in her chair in front of the wood stove most days, trying to keep warm, remembering the days when the sun was more than a bedtime story. When the world was alive, when people felt alive and knew what it meant to be human. Whatever that means, anyway.

I don't want you to buy me flowers, I want you to deal with your trauma, To quiet your ego And figure out where you stand In absence of comparison to someone else. Must you always break yourself against everyone else Just to prove you are solid? I didn't expect eternal bliss, Butterflies and roses forever. I didn't expect to feel complete. But it shouldn't feel like early morning headaches, Acid reflux burning in my throat, Late night drives to nowhere, Nine a.m. Vodka tonics just to get through the day. That twisting, stabbing feeling in my stomach Telling me this will never change. It should've felt like warmth, Lazy Sunday mornings cuddled on the couch, A hot rosewater bath after a long day. Like meeting up with an old friend Or coming home for Christmas. Instead it's always felt like living Out my life with a stranger, Being the unwanted guest who stays Long after the party is over. Like I've written my own ransom note And no one has plans to ever meet those demands. If I could write an addendum at the bottom And give it to my past, young stupid self, It would read: RUN, go now and never look back.

We are all of the same spirit, Woven Into the tapestry of life. All a tiny speck of a puzzle piece That creates a whole Living, breathing, continuous organism. We all come from the same sin That calls out to us from the dark, Hidden in shadow. We all pursue the same material things Thinking they will somehow make us whole, But we’re trying to fill a space that Was never truly empty. And we endlessly try to fill our cup From the wrong source. Our insecurities make us chase excessive, Expensive things - distractions. In the never ending desire to achieve The beautiful life, We become plastic, unbending But the never ending masquerade must go on To convince everyone else that we’re Worthy of the respect we cannot give ourselves. In the end we find The expensive house, Bursting at the seams with all of our Meticulously collected shiny things Becomes a burden. The fancy car is unreliable and too small To fit our true selves into. So again, we feel empty and try desperately To fill that space back up With newer, shinier things, But they’re only watered down substitutions. The foundation has always been unstable So it crumbles, crashes and burns. And we all spin wildly out of control Throwing it’s ashes to the wind. We’ve been spinning on this tilt o whirl So long, we hardly know what to do Once it’s stopped. As we walk away, With our feet on solid ground for once, Maybe we will finally see That we are all walking inside the same skin, All a part of one, Already full, already whole And maybe we can find a sense of peace Long sought after And finally come to a place of restful content.

Avery remembers that night like it was yesterday. She can remember every minor detail, but not much of what happened afterwards. That was still a messy blur in time. But she remembers leaving and that’s what got her where she is now, into this awful mess. Not that what she’d escaped was much better. She knows she had to leave, there wasn’t much choice. Because “punishment isn’t abuse.” That’s what he had said. Isn’t that the exact mentality of an abuser? She got to the point where she couldn’t look him in the eyes anymore, but she still didn’t leave. Then one day, he finally did what he promised he would never do. Because he wasn’t “that guy.” But he was. She remembered hiding in the bathroom, crying, gathering what was left of her life into a small duffle bag. When she left their tiny apartment, it was midnight and rain rushed down over her car, street lamps beaming through the raindrops into fractals like a kaleidoscope of blinding light. Along with the flood of tears she’d been holding back for years, she could barely see the road. She remembers deja vu hitting her like a slap across the face. With rain dumping in buckets, blurred lights flashing yellow and red all around her. This is exactly how she felt most days over the last ten years – overwhelmed, terrified, senses dulled, blind and barely able to get her bearings. Why it took her so long to figure it out was mind boggling. Maybe it was because of the whirlwind of highs and lows, the manipulation, the outright lies. Who knows? Avery was amazed at how little insight she had into her own feelings for such a long time. It was like she had been underwater this whole time, drowning and too oblivious to cry out for help. A year later, she now found herself hiking a long trail in mid winter, which meant the trail was abandoned. The solitude helped her clear her head and the frigid wind helped keep her sharp. Maybe the fresh air would help sort out her feelings and figure out how she got here. Maybe she just wanted to forget. The last five months had been nonstop negative thoughts, ruminating on the whys and hows and the regrets. It wasn’t healthy. It was time to finally heal and make her way out of the darkness. Avery jogged a few miles with Max steadily trotting ahead of her. She had to slow herself back to a walk because she was so out of shape. Her heart was pounding in her ears and her lungs felt like they were on fire. She bent down with her hands on her thighs for a bit to catch her breath and Max looked at her in that side-cocked, puzzled way dogs do. “What? So, I’m a little rusty and fluffy around the edges,” Avery fired back at him. Max sat down, tail wagging in anticipation of whatever affection or treats his weird human was about to hand out. She patted him lightly on the head and smiled. Although only midday, a few stray dark clouds moved in and the trail ahead was suddenly washed in shadow. At first, Avery thought how unfortunate it would be to get drenched out here in the cold, but as they made their way deeper into the darkening woods, she felt a familiar fear tickling her skin. The air felt thick and she was taking short, quick breaths to compensate. She was starting to break out in tight, prickly gooseflesh even though she was wearing a thick sweater and thermal lined pants. Avery was not one for superstition and she started to feel silly. She looked down at Max, who was now sitting on the ground, firm and unmovable, staring straight ahead. She noticed something move slightly in the distance. Turning to see what Max was so interested in, she saw a man standing at the edge of the tree-line about thirty yards ahead. He had on a black trench coat with a large hood pulled over his head, hiding most of his face. She couldn’t tell if he was staring at them, sizing them up, or simply looking at the ground. Either way, he was creepy as hell. Luckily, she had Max, her fearless protector who was presently lowered on his haunches, a guttural soft growl echoed out in warning. When the hooded man looked up in response and turned away into the woods, Max gave chase. Avery gasped, too alarmed to move at first, panic blooming to life all over her body. She yelled for Max and ran off into the trees in pursuit, creepy man be damned. She wasn’t losing her dog. She’d lost too much already. After running several yards into the woods, she thought she heard Max whimper on the other side of a high ridge. Avery attempted to climb and lost her footing a few times. It was fairly steep and her legs felt like jelly after her jog. She walked a few feet down and noticed a large drainage pipe. It seemed big enough for her to crawl through and it probably went straight to the other side. She bent down and peered through the opening but couldn’t see very far. Avery wasn’t severely claustrophobic, but the thought of crawling on her belly through a metal pipe was a little panic inducing. Just then, she heard a yelp echo from inside and she jumped in without thinking. It wasn’t so bad, as she slid through like a lizard, her back didn’t even brush the top of the pipe and she had some room to breathe. She was making her way through quickly and it helped ease the tension. Ahead she saw a bend where the pipe must have been routed around tree roots and she had to squeeze her way through. She had to wiggle her body into the curve and for a few seconds thought she was stuck. Panic started to creep in. She was trembling, sweaty and getting close to hyperventilating. Her lower back was flush against the side of the metal pipe. She stopped, closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She couldn’t lose it now, no one would ever find her if she did. Her wide hips pressed against the top and bottom of the pipe as she turned sideways to try to slip around the bend. She heard Max whine again. It was muffled from where she lay stuck in this stupid fucking metal death tube, but she was sure it was him. He sounded like he might be hurt. She hated the thought of Max laying out there in the woods injured and scared. Avery groped for any kind of hold ahead of her to help pull herself through, but her sweaty hands only slid against smooth, cold metal. She stopped again to catch her breath and in the stillness, she thought she heard something very softly rustling in the drainpipe coming from behind her, from where she had already wormed through. Was that possible? She hadn’t seen any critters back there. The rustling grew louder and closer, inpatient to scurry its way to her. Avery held her breath and lay as still as she could, but the sound grew louder and closer still, until she could make out a fleshy, gaunt humanoid body slithering its way through the drainpipe to her. The eyes glinted yellow in the dark, she thought she could make out jagged, browned teeth. Her heart boomed like thunder in her chest and she grabbed the slick wall ahead of her so hard, she broke a few nails. She pushed both feet hard against the metal walls and squirmed her way free before that thing could grab her. In an adrenaline filled fervor, Avery did the fastest and most agile low crawl shimmy she’d ever done in her life. As soon as she climbed out, Avery felt like she was not in the same woods she was moments before. This didn’t feel like the same woods at all, it felt like another universe. None of the normal sounds of the outdoors were here. No insects buzzing, birds chirping or wind blowing through the trees. The air here was muted and dull, like hearing the world from underwater. There were no signs of Max and Avery wasn’t sure what to do, so she just started walking straight ahead despite the queasiness biting at the core of her body. As she made her way deeper into this new place, she started to hear and feel a pulsating sensation. She didn’t sense it as “sound” alone, but rather felt it reverberating in her eardrums, her head, arms, skin and even her nails. She was tingling all over, but not in a good way. She had this odd image of her hair standing on end as if she were being electrocuted, but when she put her hand on her head to smooth it down, her long waves were still draped down behind her back. Avery stilled herself and held her breath a moment to see if she could hear where it was coming from. She heard a low whirring sound coming from her right. Then it sounded like it was up ahead, then behind her, then it was all around her at once. So she started walking and changed direction as it got louder. She walked for a while and got deep into the woods. As the whirring noise got closer, Avery could feel it. She was starting to get a little dizzy. Even closer still, she started to lose coordination and self sea sick. When she was finally got close, there was an eerie silence. No more faint rustling of the world outside of this place. There was a large black void that stretched as far to each side and skyward as she could make out. It seemed to have blotted out the sun and swallowed the sky whole as if nothing existed beyond it. Now that Avery was about three feet away, she could see the surface up close. It was moving and fluid, ebbing like a great black ocean. The surface was dark and opaque, there was no telling how deep it might be and she didn’t dare touch it. She sat on the ground beside the terrible humming, rippling, watery monstrosity and waited for Max, but there was no sign of him. After some time, as if hypnotized by its fluid rippling, she thought she could make out another sound from beyond the wall. It was a lower hum that drew her in closer. There was another world inside, she knew that much, like she had been here before. It was a dark world, full of emptiness and wanting that was normally ignored by the rest of the world. Now that it was opening up to her, she was freed from the involuntary delusion of reality and she was ready to see and hear it clearly. Something from beyond the void whispered to her in rhythmic murmurs. It begged her to cross over. Avery was afraid, but the need was so intense, the humming, the rhythm of the waves was so seductive that she reached out and grazed the surface. As soon as her fingers made contact, something pulled her inside with such force, she feel to the ground. For a short moment, she almost panicked, but then immediately felt warm and calm. Although not really at ease, she tried to grasp at the feeling, but her brain was too foggy. As the murmurs became louder, more rhythmic and hypnotic, it became clear. She felt sedated. The secret of this place was revealed - it was empty and ravenous. It had been left unfed for far too long and now that Avery had been lured inside, it was finally time to eat.

Tara woke to a terrible nagging pain in her right forearm. As she slowly opened her eyes, vision still blurred, she could see five-year-old Carly, with her brunette Shirley Temple ringlets kneeling on the bed beside her like a little Gremlin. Her hair was matted to the side of her head with something dark and wet. Was she outside playing in the mud this early? Tara had been her step-mother for three years, but still couldn’t tame the little wild-child. There was the nagging pain again, only sharper and more intense as her mind was beginning to fully wake up. She let out a small groan and noticed Carly was biting her arm. “What the hell, kid?! That hurts!” Didn’t her damn father teach her any manners? She already knew the child acted like she was raised by wolves, but this was too much! Now, she liked the kid, she really did. She even tried to love her like a daughter, but she wasn’t Carly’s mother, thank fucking Christ. Carly stopped at the sound of Tara’s voice and looked up at her, but not the way a five-year-old would, not even a wild one like Carly. She had a questioning, ravenous look to her. A hungry look. Carly’s face was smeared red. Her eyes looked dead and wild at the same time, they were coated in a white cloudy film, searching and impatient in such an intentional way that it made Tara nervous. It made her nervous deep down in the place where your body made decisions before your mind had a chance to catch up. Tara looked down and her arm was a mangled mess that resembled bloodied ground beef fresh off the meat grinder. She barely had time to process what the hell was going on before the baby began to cry from his room down the hall. Carly’s head snapped in the direction of the crying baby like a feral animal about to pounce. Carly sprang from the bed and landed in a crouch on the floor inches away from the door. Tara always thought this kid acted like an animal, but now she had the agility of a damn Puma. What in the hell was happening? But the question was rhetorical, Tara already knew the answer. The girl sprinted down the hall towards the harsh cries of a hungry, wet newborn. Tara had no time to think. She scrambled out of bed and tackled Carly, who was now thrashing wildly beneath her, tearing at the carpet with her fingernails. The baby cried harder. He wasn’t used to his cries going unanswered. He’d slept in today and desperately needed to be fed. But not by this tiny monster that would tear him limb from limb, because she also had a hunger and it wasn’t anywhere near as innocent as the three-week-old lying in his crib crying for his mommy. He needed his mother to hold him and protect him. But could she protect him from this? Tara groped at the small hall table trying to find anything to stop the raging monster beneath her. Her hand landed on the heavy stone decorative piece her mother-in-law had given her during her New Age phase. It was a large agate egg shaped stone that sat in a gold-plated metal base. It was supposed to be a healing stone or some meditative horseshit, Tara wasn’t sure. She grasped the egg tightly in her right hand with her left still holding Carly’s small head firmly against the floor the best she could. The egg was solid and heavy, about the size of a baseball. She slid her left hand off the girl’s soft curly hair to her back, still trying her best not to let the little demon get the slip on her. Then, she took a swift, hard swing against Carly’s tiny head and heard a sickening crack, but the little beast kept thrashing, so she hit her three more times increasingly harder until she stopped moving and slumped to the floor. It was actually a bit easier then she thought to bash a child’s head in like that. Blood started to pool around Carly’s brown ringlets which fell loosely over her face to the floor, now floating in the red puddle that was forming on the carpet. My God, she thought, how will they ever forgive me? Her husband, her mother-in-law. How could she ever explain what happened here? The baby cried out again and Tara realized that none of that mattered right now. Her son was still alive. She ran to his room, scooped him up and held him tight, shushing him softly and rubbing his back out of instinct. After she got him fed and packed a bag, she loaded up the minivan. No time for songs and cuddles today, little guy. She already tried the house phone and cell. No service. Had it really happened? Had The Community finally been breached? Were they naïve to think they’d be kept safe inside their walled off, gated mountain resort neighborhood? Most of the houses were cliff side, with a 100 foot rocky drop off to the forrest floor. Her bedroom window overlooks the bottom. In the beginning, she would stay up late at night and watch them roaming aimlessly, like cattle. They looked almost benign from that angle until they caught sight or scent of something alive. Then they sprang into a wild sprint and attacked without mercy. The infected. She pitied them at first. She knows it was dumb luck they were vacationing up here in the mountains when the outbreak started. She could have easily become just another mindless beast otherwise. Then she had her baby boy here in captivity. And she began to fear them. Fear what they could do to him. Now they’ve breached the walls of her family’s only sanctuary. Now she hated them. Now it was time to fight. She loaded the baby in his car seat and closed the door softly. She was nervous about who or what might be outside. She looked out the small dirty, square windows in the middle of the garage door. She didn’t see anything. It seemed still and eerily quiet, but it was only seven a.m. And quiet was good. She pressed the garage door button on the wall and shimmied quickly to the driver’s side door and locked herself and Miles securely inside. She hoped to God it would start. The van hadn’t been driven in months. No need. The resort had a main lodge with a kitchen and huge pantry and two restaurants. They weren’t anywhere near running out of food. Especially since so many residents took up gardening and there was a well on the grounds, too. She hated to leave. This place had been her shelter this last year. This was probably one of the few safe havens left on this God forsaken planet. She wondered where the hell Steve was. Her husband liked to go fishing early, before sun up if possible. Says they bite better when it’s still a little dark and cool. She thought it was dangerous. He did, too, in the beginning, but the last few months had made him braver. Maybe dumber, maybe just desperate to do anything that felt normal. She wondered if he knew about the breach, if he was trying to reach her? Maybe he’d already fallen victim to the breach, or hell, even started it. He’d seemed so forlorn the past month or two. Did he finally get reckless enough to try to go outside the gates? Why would he even dare do that now when they had a newborn to look after? Was he really that selfish? That was rhetorical, too. Maybe he was just fishing. He would be making his way back soon. She might pass him by the road. As Tara drove around the bend to the downward slope that would take her down mountain towards the lodge, she hit something slippery. Of course, you idiot! Why did she forget they put slick oil down all over the hill that lead to their houses? Steve and their neighbors, The Millers and Sanders thought it would be a good idea so no rogue vehicles could drive up unannounced in the night. The van fishtailed wildly just as it hit the downgrade. She thought it might flip and wailed at the thought of her newborn be tossed head over dangly chubby little legs in his car seat. But the van swung swiftly to the side and the tail end came to a crash against a large oak. The crunch of the metal against the solid trunk of the tree was deafening as was her scream. She was barely cognizant of the fact that she had her arms against the steering wheel and the horn was blaring. She leaned herself back and threw off her seatbelt and immediately started clawing her way to the back seat. Miles, her little cherub cried softly in his car seat. He was most likely only scared and not hurt. She sat beside his seat and began to release his harness when she noticed them coming out from the trees in a hoard of at least twenty, walking swiftly and intently towards the sounds of tiny baby cries. She “woke” somewhere in the dark. At first, she thought the lights were off, but then heard the muffled sound of talking. No matter how close and loud they got, she still couldn’t make out what they were saying. She tried really hard to open her eyes but couldn’t seem to manage even a flutter. More muffled voices, one male and one female. The tone was somewhat official, like a police officer or lawyer. Was she in jail? She most likely murdered Carly, so that kind of made sense. Either that, or she was in hell. Tara moved against something solid and confining, like straps - restraints? But no, she didn’t move. She didn’t give the command to move her body, something else did. Is that why she couldn’t see and could barely hear anything? Was she not in control of her own body? Slight panic set it and then she rationalized that she must be dreaming. This had to be a nightmare. It made sense, her sleeping body pressed against the hard jail cell cot making her think she was in restraints, the police officers’ murmurs from their desks fifty feet away, barely intelligible. She tried what she always did to wake from a bad dream; she concentrated on jerking her body to one side to roll over and wake up. No use. She couldn’t even twitch a finger. This was maddening. Tara had never been so lucid and unable to wake up at the same time. She waited like this for what seemed like an eternity, floating in a dark abyss. But finally someone came close and she could hear them more clearly. The male, who seemed like a doctor, was talking about her “condition” like she was a Leper. The female seemed to reiterate what he said and took orders. A nurse? No, they were both white coats, she could make that much out in blurry blobs of their humanoid forms moving about around her like it was a circus. The circus of the infected-almost-dead. And she was the main event! White coat means doctor and lab tech? Tara knew enough about hospitals and doctors from her former psychiatric admissions. But that was in the past, wasn’t it? What if the trauma of bashing poor little Carly’s head in had done Tara’s head in? What if this was the big break? The “mother of them all” to end all mind fucks? One thing she knew, she was infected. She wasn’t sure how long she was out, but she wasn’t in control of her body anymore. She’d be one of the monsters soon.

He was the middle son of the Duke’s four boys, the eldest being Edward, his father’s favorite. The youngest two, Henry and Paul , were twins. They were eight years younger than Abel and still naive and rowdy, always looking for a fight. Edward was away on important business. So important his father failed to let anyone else know anything of it. So, his father in his infinite wisdom, decided he would need to go. Although he didn’t tell him so himself, he sent an errand boy to deliver the order. Abel wished his father would for once take the time to sit him down in his study and speak with him in private, like men, but that day never came. If he had, maybe Abel could have reasoned with him, told him the settlement was peaceful and no threat. They’d likely be gone soon anyway. Not that his father, The Duke of Windmire, the third highest ranking of the nine realms would dare listen to his bumbling middle child. The band of gypsy mages that settled on the outskirts of Windmire’s forest were a nuisance to his father. He never trusted the gypsies. “No trustworthy, innocent people pack up everything and move around so much. Only people with something to hide do that,” he once said. But Abel knew they weren’t the lying scoundrels his father made them put to be. He visited their camp not so long ago. It was mostly by accident. He was curious and wanted to see what they were up to, but he never meant for them to see him spying on them. He thought his father might finally be proud of him if he’d come back with information on the camp. But he was spotted by a young, black haired woman who snuck up on him so softly, he’d swear her feet never touched the ground. Abel was stunned and froze, ready to be done in by a dagger. He was told stories of the gypsy’s ruthlessness as a child. But, the girl smiled and her face was so soft and warm, he was immediately calmed. She asked if he wanted to come sit by the fire and have a warm drink. Abel was hesitant, it could be a trap, especially if they knew who his father was. But Abel couldn’t help but feel a sense of peace when looking at the woman’s face. Her eyes were light green, large and peering at him with innocence. She had long, black hair and tanned skin. He’d never seen anyone like her. So he went and sat by the fire round the band of gypsies and drank a cup of something that tasted like ginger root. Everyone seemed curious and some stared, but they were polite enough. They were nothing like he was told in the tales he heard growing up. He visited their camp several more times and grew to love the raven haired girl they called Lianna. Now his father had ordered him to go to their camp on horseback wearing the family crest and deliver a message. One that demanded they pay taxes to the realm as citizens or to leave Windmire. The decree also requested they come to court to hold council with the Duke himself, which Abel knew was a lie. They’d be arrested and their camp ransacked for anything of value. Abel knew there’s were only a few ways this would end, they could pay a hefty fine and leave, which Gypsies were never wont to do or they would be captured and imprisoned for intruding on claimed land. His father wouldn’t let them pack up and leave without paying any dues. So, as he packed up his horse and made his way to the camp, he folded his own letter and tucked it safely into his pocket. His letter warned them of what he knew and to leave immediately. It directed towards a place deep in the forest down in a small valley where he used to go when he was young. He never told his father or even hi is brothers about the place. It had always been his secret. Now it was one that he would share with the gypsies so he could save the only girl he’s ever loved. He most likely would never see her again, but if that meant that she would be spared whatever his father and the realm had in mind, then so be it.

We’re reliving the same old traumas, Just giving them a new coat of paint. Presenting the same dramatic play, Just giving it a new name, New actors and a new stage. Running through a maze on the dark Like rats searching for the last piece of cheese. Now lost in the labyrinth, the illusion of life, In all of our confusion, we lash out with open claws Leaving everyone we meet Bleeding and raw. And the open wounds only serve to attract More blood thirsty creatures Ready to exact their revenge, For simply being a mirror for their own self loathing. The scars on my body itched like fire When I met you, I just didn’t know why at the time Because I was blinded by the need To be wanted by anyone at all. But I will stop accepting Shame that does not belong to me Even when handed to me in a box Tied up with a pretty red bow And presented like a generous gift. As if I’ve come here to fix you and make you whole By eternally cutting away pieces of myself Until I’m no longer anything at all.

Kate followed Levi’s tank of an RV for what seemed like 45 miles up the steep, winding mountain road. Thankfully, the rain stopped a few days ago and it was dry. The turns were tight and narrow and there were several curves with no guard rail. Kate clutched the steering wheel tight as her body stiffened. Roads like this always scared her. Maybe because she was only five foot three and could barely see over the top of the dash in her lumbering Suburban. Or maybe because of her dreams where the car went barreling over the side of a steep cliff and smashed into the rocks below, metal crunching in on itself, shards of glass flying wildly. In these dreams, she either dropped her cell phone to the floorboard, just out of reach or it wouldn’t work. Either the phone wouldn’t unlock or every number she tried to dial out wouldn’t connect. She would always wake with a jerk of her body in the dark stillness of her bedroom, wondering if she was still alive. Then she would feel the light rustling of her cat at her feet and smell the familiar scent of her apartment remembering, it’s just a dream. The same dream over and over on repeat. Sometimes her Shepard, Poe, would stir from his bed and come and softly nudge her head with his nose as if he could sense her anxiety. It was strange because this dream in particular put Poe on edge, too. What was even more strange was how much the road she was currently driving reminded her of the road in her dreams. After about two hours, they pulled onto a little bluff overlooking a valley of trees and rocky mountain edges that stretched for miles. The leaves had recently turned and were fiery red, orange and yellow burning against the bright blue sky. Levi pulled his RV neatly into a long, narrow opening in the trees and Kate pulled her SUV into a clearing to the left. She hopped down from her SUV and smelled the crisp autumn air. She got to work on setting up the pop-up camper. It was getting close to dusk now and the locusts where chirping. She saw a few fireflies light up in the tree line. This place was perfect. Levi was the one who picked it. She was surprised when she saw a message from him last week. They kept up with each other after college, but only casually. She knew that Mike, Levi and Alice all graduated with honors and went on to be quite successful, but after what happened to Kate Junior year, she dropped all her classes. She had promised herself she’d go back, she’d transfer her credits to another university and graduate, but she never did. Some traumas dig too deep and never quite let go. After everyone arrived and was getting settled, Levi was setting up folding chairs in a circle around a black, ashen spot on the ground surrounded clumsily by rocks. He had been eager for a camping trip ever since he bought his shiny new camper last year. He was the one who got everyone on board for this trip, the old college gang. He and Kate met Freshman year in one of the Gen-Ed classes. She took to him right away. He was energetic and charismatic. With his dark hair and light blue eyes, it was enough to make any shy, twenty-year-old girl swoon. They almost dated, too, but they were never on the same timeline with each other. And after what happened and Kate dropping out, their lives went opposite directions. He had stayed the course and made his way to the dream life, she veered off wildly and has been flailing ever since. She guessed he sensed that, and it was probably a big reason to get everyone together again. Their unique little band of misfits. Mike and Levi knew each other before college and Mike met Alice shortly after Kate was brought into the fold. It was love at first sight with those two. Kate wasn’t so lucky. Maybe if she had been, maybe if she hadn’t been holding out for someone who would never notice her, things may have been different. She never told any of them what happened, not even Alice. They must have thought she cracked under the pressure and had a breakdown. She was pre-med and the program was rough, but she had everything under control, or so she thought. They sat around a warm, raging campfire once the sun went down and reminisced about the “good days.” Kate tried to focus on the early days and was quiet when anyone talked about Junior year. Everyone seemed to understand the sensitive nature of it for now, but she was sure the questions would come eventually. The music would demand to be faced. Her German Shepard, Poe, sat dutifully at her feet, sensing her anxiety. But after all the small talk, Levi and Mike were packing up the coolers and Alice turned to Kate and said “It was so good to see you again” and hugged her so hard Kate knew she actually meant it and wasn’t just saying what she thought she was supposed to say. With all niceties aside, they probably would have been great friends if they’d been given the chance. As everyone said their goodnights and disappeared into their tents, Kate finished the last two sips of Chardonnay from her stainless-steel cup and got ready to crawl into her sleeping bag. She wasn’t sure where Poe had run off to, but hoped he was just sniffing around the campground. He had been so good at not wandering away the entire weekend, so Kate hoped he wouldn’t start now. Not in the middle of the night, in the pitch blackness. She’d never find him. She called a few times, but he didn’t come, so she cuddled up in her sleeping bag and waited. She must have dozed because when she looked at her phone again, the illuminated lock screen showed it was after midnight. She crawled out of her sleeping bag and unzipped the tent door to look for Poe. The campfire was dying off and only putting out enough light to see the very center of the campground where everyone’s folding chairs still sat in an empty circle of flickering light. She walked out into the coolness of the night and could barely see anything. The shadowy tree line looked empty and still. She whistled a few times and stopped to listen, hoping to hear his clumsy paws crunching dry leaves, but an intense, sickening quiet persisted. Then she heard something so loud and shrill that she almost screamed. She didn’t think it was Poe, he’d never made a noise like that. Kate grabbed a flashlight from her tent and scanned the tree line in an arching motion, but saw nothing. She didn’t hear that godawful screeching again for a solid 2-3 minutes, either. But, when she heard it again, it was closer and louder. Now it really scared her because whatever was making that sound wasn’t a small animal. It had to be at least her size, if not bigger. Much bigger. She saw something move quickly in the right edge of the flashlight beam and almost screamed again. She slowly turned towards it, almost dropping the flashlight. Her hand shook so wildly that the light made a strobe-like effect as it centered on Poe running out of the woods with his tail tucked tightly down between his hind legs, shackles standing up on his back like a mohawk. He was scared as hell. Something tall, hunched, spindly and hairless emerged from the tree line behind him. And that awful screech again. Poe turned on a dime, crouched on his haunches and barked his biggest, meanest big dog bark. It only drew the thing closer to him. Kate, terrified, tried to call Poe, to tell him to get the hell in the tent, but all that came out was a croaked whisper. The noise must have woken up everyone else. She saw a light tick on and heard the creak of Levi’s RV door which was parked twenty feet away from her tent. The creature was on the other side so hopefully she could warn him before he came out guns blazing. God, she hoped he brought a gun. He came around the side of her tent, messy black hair, blue eyes foggy and still half asleep. Levi looked at Kate, then looked towards the barking, howling sound coming from a few feet away. He could only see the dog’s paws as Kate had lowered her flashlight down in her shock. Levi walked over to her, gently took her hand and pulled the flashlight back up and pointed the light back towards Poe and the awful creature she was hoping to hell was just a dream. But it was still there, hunched over as if deformed with its bony limbs contracted inward to its skeletal body. Kate imagined the thing would stand at least eight feet tall had its back not been terribly bent to such an extreme arch. It had sickeningly pale skin that looked all wrong, like a giant that had been decaying for centuries had just climbed out of his grave, barely able to straighten his body to stand upright. Now this gaunt, emaciated thing had woken finding itself to be starved. “What the hell is that thing?” Levi finally spoke, voice still hoarse with sleep. “I don’t . . “ Kate was still in shock, she supposed, she could barely speak. Before she could finish the thought, Poe ran snarling at the beast, the way only animals are willing to do. People hesitate, we analyze, we freeze like Kate was doing right now. Animals have to pick fight or flight in an instant and stick with the decision until death. Did Poe pick fight to protect her? Was he so loyal that he’d rather die than see her hurt? That thought cut through her heart sharper than almost anything else could. Almost. Kate tried to scream, to beg Poe not to go to battle with something he could never beat, but it was useless, Poe was gone. The only warm-blooded creature on earth that ever loved her was now running headfirst into a fight he could never win. The thing shrieked again. It was awful at this proximity. Both Kate and Levi cringed, and Kate realized she was covering her ears. Was she doing that the whole time? With its final battle cry, this one so shrill, Kate’s ear drums pulsed to the sound. The creature’s jaw opened unnaturally wide as if it could unhinge its jaw and snatched Poe up in one quick motion and flung his body up in the air like a rag doll, then swallowed him whole, the jaw opening wider and wider. Kate and Levi stood in shock. This couldn’t be real, it was far too gruesome. She had to be dreaming. As she stood, eyes wide, terror hanging thick in the air while tufts of Poe’s fur sailed to the ground around the beast, someone grabbed her arm at the wrist. She almost jumped out of her skin and spun around to see Levi, looking as terrified as her, but more insistent. He was saying something, but she wasn’t sure what, she felt like she was underwater now. It was like he was trying to talk to her from the other side of soundproof glass. But as he pulled at her wrist and motioned toward his camper, she understood. It was time to get the fuck out of here before that thing realized it was still hungry. She wondered if that jaw could stretch wide enough to devour a five foot three, one hundred twenty-pound female. Probably.