If only I could stay here forever. If only the world would let me. But I can’t, no matter how much I want to. Even if the ocean pulls me in, even if it drowns me. I can’t stay here. And the reason why is simple, because of my home, because of someone. The feeling of the sand and the ocean mixed is incredible, it takes all my worries and just washes them away. It makes me calm my breathing, and just listen to the world around me. It makes me forget that I’m only here for a few days. And only at the beach for a few minutes. I close my eyes, letting the wind blow my hair. Letting the ocean carry me to my true home. “Annie!” I fall down, my clothes covered in the wet sand. I look up, Damon is running towards me. At first his pale eyes looked worried, scared, maybe even confused. But as he gets closer they it becomes clear, his eyes are shining with happiness, excitement, and most of all just him. I stand up and run towards him, my hair blowing like a waterfall behind me. I jumped into his arms, holding him as tightly as I can. He spins me around, laughing as the frightened seagulls fly over us. “Damon!” I smile, “What are you doing here!” Damon smiles his perfect crooked smile, “Annie, I came for you, this is your home.” My home? Maybe I’m dreaming, because if this was my home I’d die of happiness. “What do you mean?” I ask, as Damon places his hands on my face. “Annie,” Damon whispers. He lowers himself to the ground, placing his hand in his pocket and pulling out a small diamond ring. My hand flys to my mouth, covering the biggest smile I’ve ever smiled. This is definitely a dream. I think. “Annie,” Damon smiles up at me, “Marry me?”

I open my eyes, the words are too much. Damon Summerlin. I slide the ring off of my finger, “Damon,” My voice is so quiet I can’t hear it, “Please don’t go where I can’t follow.” I touch the cold grey stone, even colder than ice. The tears start coming, faster and faster. His words echo through my mind. “Annie, marry me.” My hand slides down his grave, falling to the ground. I fall too, letting the cold, wet dirt stain my black dress. “Damon,” I cry through sobs. A month ago I’d dreamed for the beach. And now I only dreamed for Damon. For him to hold me, and love me. “Don’t cry be cause it hurts, smile because it meant you had loved,” I whisper, something Damon had told me the day his father died. Something he said would ease the pain. But nothing could ease my pain. Nothing, no one. Only Damon could. The one thing I need is the one thing I can’t have. Story of my life.

I became lost in her vibrations, the way she existed maximized my bodily sensations, pupils in her eye transported me into the highest of dimensions, you’d be crazy not feel her aura from a mile away, glowing against the stigmatic darkness of humanity’s love gone astray, invoke the gods with her name when I prey. Scented darkness of her oil shined hair whisks me to far-off lands, mountains, deserts, or island sands, there we are holding hands, she’s got this smile that spreads my worries like butter on warm toast, on a Sunday morning in a cozy cottage by the coast, a dream forever in my memory till the day I ghost. Your energy was genuine, our frequencies were out of tune, thank you for the moments that blasted my soul to the moon, I hope I can breath your words again, sometime somewhere soon. I used to think the ultimate experience in life was love, until you flew in from above like a dove, blessing my mortality, improving my morality, enhancing my reality, a connection with vast potential, far transcending the mediocrity of the existential, validating all that is quintessential. Love may be the answer but it’s not the solution, great results don’t always maintain modest execution, it’s easy to mistake toxicity for positive contribution. You revealed to me the madness of my methods, self-righteous concepts became shredded, for heartbroken and healed souls this poem was intended. 💙🙏🏻

She kicked off her shoes and slowly stepped into the frigid water. The familiar sensation of sand between her toes and the breeze lifting her hair made her stop to take in all sensation. In these moments she noticed everything. Her racing heart, the feel of her eyelashes against her skin, the faint call of the ocean over the horizon. She slowly waded deeper, savoring every second. Hours passed. Days maybe. She stood there for years. She opened her eyes. She felt drunk with the scent of the sea and her own freedom. She never felt so free as when she stood in the never ending blue abyss. She kept walking. Walking until it engulfed her knees, her waist, her chest. She had nothing to fear now. She should be feared. No creature should feel that powerful. No creature should feel so limitless in their own universe. Yet she did. She felt herself expand to the deepest volcanic rock, all the way to the Aroura Borialis. Her toes sprouting roots, her hair floating clouds. She could feel herself extent into every living thing in the universe. It was intoxicating. The water was calm, as not to disturb her. In this particular moment it bent solely to her will. Not even Mother Nature could ripple it. She slowly sunk beneath the waves and breathed in the magic surrounding her. The water smoothed her hair as bubbles kissed her skin. The silence was deafening. She could hear the whisper of plants in the amazon rainforest, and laughter of snowflakes in Antarctica. Nature was everywhere. Nature is everything. She could hear the rolling of tanks. The sobbing of children. No one said Mother Nature was ever forgiving. She poisons and kills as much as humans do. She gives life, but she kills. But in this moment she was silent. She forgot all that was corrupted and felt vulnerability and innocence of young life. She was transported to a time where the sickness hadn’t touched her very deeply then. When she was young and ignorant. Would she trade that for the knowledge she has now? When Adam and Eve were in the garden of Eden, were they truly content with ignorance? Did man yearn for knowledge before they even knew of it? Is that why we search for it every day? Is curiosity truly the bane of our existence? We search for answers to our questions and question our answers until we find the answer we are content with. Is that truly what life is about? Endless searching, until one day we can search no longer? She opened her eyes and stopped searching. She knew that this was where she was supposed to be. She was finally content. All her thoughts swam endlessly to the bottom of the sea. To a place where they could stay and never be answered. Some questions didn’t need answers. Some things didn’t have to be complicated. To be surrounded by earth, sea, and sky was enough for her.

One wedsday afternoon a little girl wandered away from her parents on the beach and headed towards the water. She calmly stared at the water and its glory. Then the wind flew in. Back and forth it went until.... “I’m here, im here, come here, COME HERE!!”. Then the girl looked nobody to be seen. The wind told her to come and climb the rocks. So the foolish girl did as she was told. Then the wind blew as hard as it could to push her off. Then out of nowhere a shadowy figure stabbed her. The ocean then turned red. THIS IS WHERE AND HOW THE UNDERWORLD BEGAN.

The waves dance, The sand drifts I wait for summer to begin again My heart, my hands, My feet, my hair, They long for the feeling of summers air

The cold current surpassing my head. I’m drowning in it like I want to end myself. But it’s not my fault. I don’t know how to swim. How to navigate these waters. These uncharted waters, which were so easy for others. I wish I knew how to swim here. I feel like the only one benched in a room of professionals. I wanted to swim, so I let go. Now I’m drowning and nobody knows.