Dear Miranda,

Hey, long time no talk! Sorry it’s taken me so long to get around to writing you back. Life here in Seattle is way different than it is in Michigan. The rain is pretty consistent. It’s perfect here. Maddie and I have been complaining about the thunderstorms all week. That’s something I have to tell you about, actually. When Maddie got word that I was out in the area, she messaged me, asking to meet up. So we did. Seeing her, felt like no time had passed between us. Our conversations kept circling around to the relationship her and I had all those years ago. We started meeting up more often. Two weeks after I showed up here, she called off her engagement to her fiancé. She said she realized what she lost when her and I broke up. I know this is the last thing you want to hear, but with all the history you and I have, I guess it wouldn’t feel right if I kept this from you - we’re dating. It’s slow and steady right now.

I don’t want this letter to revolve only around me though. Tell me what you’re doing. Are you still writing? Did you get that promotion at work?

I still have some of your writings saved on my laptop. Sometimes I still read them when I’m feeling homesick. The way you write about home makes it feel like I’m right there next to you. I miss you Miranda. Life is so messy and there’s apart of me that resents that this is our new reality. I thought moving out here would help me. You know I’ve always wanted to move out here. And I love it here, don’t get me wrong. Then when Maddie came back into my life, that felt like another step in the right direction.

Yet, here I am, thousands of miles from you, and I still catch myself thinking about you. About us. These coffee shops are full of people that I can see creating incredible characters out of. I grabbed some takeout the other night from this local Chinese place and it reminded me of when you tried to make rice for the first time and you burnt it to the pan.

Anyways, I’ll let ya go. Write soon, okay?

Jay

Dear Jay,

Hey stranger! It’s good to know you’re still in one piece and that Seattle’s being good to you! I’m still writing every day! Obviously some days are way easier than others, but it’s the hard days that make me feel so much more relieved when I finish up my newest piece. I didn’t end up getting that promotion though. Remember Jared? That heavy set chef, the pot smoking one? He ended up with the job. My guess is he did some ass kissing to Collin. Honestly though, I think not getting the job is for the best. The pay raise would’ve been nice, but the extended hours I would’ve had to give, would’ve taken me from being able to write. Gotta have priorities!

I know I can’t put off this part of the letter any longer though. I should be able to say that I’m happy for you and genuinely mean it. But I can’t. Maybe because all of your news is still fresh. I know we have years upon years of history together and we did try more than once, to get it right. I don’t know why it just never seemed right for us. For years I blamed the timing. We were so young back then. We had no idea who we even were yet. But I thought we’d grow into becoming our authentic selves together.

But then it was like I was going in one direction and you went in the other. Part of me is angry we stayed friends all these years later. I tell myself that it’s time we move on, giving ourselves a chance at an actual fresh start with someone new. I can’t though - all these memories come flashing forward again. Our summer trips with each other’s family’s, the countless nights we’d get entangled with each other until the morning. Our photos are the only ones I have saved, even after all these years. We’ve changed so much since our first selfie together. I miss you.

This is life though. The truth is, we weren’t right for each other. My brain knows this logical fact but my heart won’t let go. I ask myself, who is going to know me to the same, minute detail that you do? I can look at you with one look and you know exactly what I’m thinking. I’ve held you in my arms as you’ve cried, creating a space for us that’s safe from the outside world.

Anyways, I have to go, or else I’ll be late for work. Be safe out there.

Miranda

Dear Miranda,

You will always hold a special place in my heart. You’re going to find someone who loves you even more than me. He’s going to know that you hate iced coffee, that you can’t resist stopping at Taco Bell on long road trips, that you never cry in public. He’s going to love you so much. I’ll be a close second though.

I understand if you think that maybe this should be goodbye. I know it’s not fair to Maddie. I don’t talk about you to her. I know she’d be hurt and she’s so happy lately. I’m happy too. Her and I, we’ve got a lot in common and it’s an easiness between us that you and I just couldn’t quite get to. It’s been a few months since you wrote me and in that time, we decided to get an apartment together. We move in in one month.

I’m not saying any of this to purposely hurt you Miranda, you have to know that. I’m just saying it because if I don’t, I’ll never move on. You’d never move on either. This is the way it has to be. I wish it didn’t have to be though.

Jay

Dear Jay,

Wow, an apartment together! That’s exciting! I bet you guys are super excited.

You made me cry in your last letter. Don’t feel guilty, they were happy tears. Hopeful tears. I know you’re right, that the man I’m meant to be with is out there, maybe he’s even writing letters to his ex-girlfriend about their love story right now too. (Haha).

I was cleaning my room last week, (specifically my closets, because you know I don’t like leaving things on the floor) and I came across that ring you bought me all those years ago under my bed. It was way more tarnished than I remembered. Our names are still legible though. Our birthstones are cloudy though. I don’t know what possessed me to do it, but I put the ring back on my finger. It fit the same way it always had. Nice and snug. Memories of when how long it took you to track this thing all came rushing back. I’d debated throwing away this ring for years, but something new occurred to me. I’ve been so focused on the past and feeling hurt and angry that our love didn’t work out, that I haven’t reflected on all the years we did spend together. That even though the love we shared wasn’t meant for forever, but that doesn’t mean all those years weren’t genuine.

I feel ready to accept our love for what it was, for where we were in our lives. But I’m ready to open the next chapter of my life. I love you so much Jay, but I’m not going to allow myself to be consumed by a love that really hasn’t been there for many years.

I hope that you and Maddie will last, that you’ll create a life together, that’s full of love. We’ll always love each other, but it’s time to say goodbye now.

I will always love you. Goodbye Jay.

Miranda

Dear Miranda,

Keep that ring. One day you can show it to your husband and the three children I know you ache to have. You’ll tell them about that whirlwind first love you had.

I love you Miranda. Don’t forget about me when you become a famous romance author.

Jay