You’re Not Divorced Until It’s Final

Knock. Knock. Knock.


“Is that the door?” I asked in a hushed tone.


“No. My wife is out of town and the kids are with grandma. It’s probably just something outside,” he whispered as he put his finger to my lips to silence me.


We let the steamy water run down our naked bodies and the noise was forgotten. Nothing else mattered right now. I wanted to be in this moment - devouring the delicious man in front of me.


I knew his divorce wasn’t finalized, but for some reason, his tone as he said it hung in the air. I trusted him… I think. It didn’t matter. I was in love and we were soul mates. We both knew it was love at first sight, when we met at the cafe two weeks ago.


“There’s the noise again!” I stated assertively. This time there was no mistaking it. Someone was knocking, but who?


As the door slammed open, I smelled the faint scent of Chanel No. 5 and a mix of familiar hair products. Two steps. I counted two steps of high heels on the tile floor until I realized exactly what was about to happen.


“Shh. Be quiet. It’s my wife.” The nervousness filled his voice and his body. I watched him frantically try to hide the evidence… hide me. Why would he need to hide me? Was my “irrational fear,” as he liked to say, of him lying about this divorce right?


“I KNEW IT! You’ve been having an affair!” she screamed with a venom that poisoned me to an abrupt freeze, as she slammed the shower curtain aside. There we were, caught red handed and butt-naked. This was not good.


The two of them excused themselves to another room to talk. Although, there wasn’t much talking going on. Talking is done in a low volume and this reminded me more of the noises you hear during exorcisms in the movies. As I dried off, I tried to focus my brain, to gather information and determine the best course of action.


“I could always jump out the window,” I thought with a slight chuckle. I knew I couldn’t, but being irrational was my forte. I frantically searched the bathroom for anything that could be used as a weapon, in case self defense was needed, again, I’m irrational. I did hope it didn’t come to that though.


“Please come to the living room. I believe we need to talk,” he said in a timid voice. I almost didn’t believe that tone could come from a 35 year old man, but that it did. He led me out of the bathroom and into the living room, where his wife was sitting, glaring. I could feel the daggers from her eyes penetrating my soul.


“My wife and I had had a fight the other day. She said she was leaving, booked a flight to her parents and that was that,” he stuttered a bit, and the confusion was all over his face. My eyes darted back and forth between them as I tried to guess where this was headed, because now, my brain was foggy and my stomach was in knots.


I made a note of where the trash can was as the nauseating feeling took over my body. I had already slept with this woman’s husband, I didn’t need to add insult to injury and ruin her carpet.


“I’m so sorry. I thought she meant leaving for good, but apparently, she meant for a couple weeks.”


“Yeah. We are not getting a divorce. You don’t divorce a woman like me that easily!” the venom in her words made me queasy again.


“I’m so sorry. I really am. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I did think I was a free man,” he said apologetically.


“It’s time for you to go,” the wife interrupted again, but with a much harsher tone this time.


She was right. I didn’t belong here. How did I get into this situation? My head was pounding, I could feel my heart racing and the knots in my stomach doubled. A brief moment of paralysis took over me, while I sat in disbelief and a tear escaped and rolled down my cheek.


Humiliated and heartbroken, I gathered the energy to walk to the door. The slam behind me reminded me in no uncertain terms that this was over. I lost the man I loved, because he made a stupid mistake… from a simple misunderstanding. Did I ruin this family? Did I ruin two people in love? I couldn’t think about it anymore. I took a deep breath, got in my car and began the journey home.

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