Aching feet from 9 to 10, headaches like 24/7
I long for my bed so much I wish for it at 11:11
Even as I grow closer, down my commute,
I feel so sick and tired of this constant pursuit.
Waves of relief wash over me in a gentle flow.
The tides ease me down. I know it won’t last though.
Alone with my thoughts, more than I can convey,
some nights I don’t want to wake up the next day.
Nice little poem. I think its simplicity gives it an edge when it’s paired with nice imagery and vulnerability. As for some feedback. Typically on poetry, you want you line to break at the most impactful part of each line, or at its natural end. You only had line breaks at the ends of phrases, which is fine, but the millisecond it takes for our eyes to go back to the start of the page, gives our brain just a little more time to process certain phrases. So ending on the most powerful/impactful word, (typically a verb) can gives more umph to your poem
