The sun is coming up now. I can feel the subtle yellow glow creeping into my room. It slips in through a small window by the bed (which is untouched) and glides along the stone floors and stops just before the spot where my knees meet the stone. I look up at the newly illuminated room and can’t help buy notice it’s foly. An illusion of comfort behind locked doors and stone walls-as if feather beds and woven rugs could make captivity bearable. Despite the soft furniture, I have been here, with my knees to the stone, since the evening sun left my room. How can one sleep knowing it is their last day to live?

I am ready now. This game has gone on for so long, I am ready for it to be over. I’m ready to move on. Living with the pain of being sentenced to die by the man I love Is to much for my heart to continue to bear. Being locked away, alone and cold, not knowing what will happen to my dear Elizabeth Is agonizing. I am ready to rest-to watch over my little girl and keep her from the same betrayal I endured. All night I prayed, and I know any sins that remain are not my own.

I wait.

There’s a knock at my door- a curtesy really since I have no more control over who enters my room than I do over the sentence given to me. In walk two ladies sent to help me prepare. Not my ladies, of course, but they are kind and sweet to me as they wash and pin my hair and help me into my dress. They leave just as quickly as they came. There is nothing left to do now but wait to be retrieved.

When there is another knock at the door, I rise to my feet and brush out the wrinkles in my skirt. The gown is thin and dull, nothing like the gowns I have become accustomed to. He doesn’t want the people to see me as the queen they once believed me to be. I was once his Regina, but today I am just Anne.

In walks a man I don’t recognize. He looks nervous and keeps his eyes to the floor and the walls and everything but me.

“Let us go, then” I say with as much courage as I have and approach the door.

He raises a hand to stop me and says “Change of plans. Executioner has is set to arrive by mid-day. We will come collect you then”

And with that he leaves.

Panic reaches up from my stomach and tries to take hold of my heart, but I shove it down. What kind of game is this? Sentencing me to die, then forcing me to live? I can think of no crueler trick. But I refuse to be afraid. I sit back down and wait, holding tightly to my resolve and the yellow light moves slowly across the stone floor.

A little after mid-day, he returns. My time now has finally come. This time when he enters, I remain seated so as not to drop my resolve to the floor. The moment he enters I can tell it is more bad news. My teeth clench and grip tightens, preparing for what comes next.

“It seems our man has run into delays on his journey from France” he begins curtly “He is set to arrive tomorrow before sunrise. We will be back at dawn to retrieve you”

My heart stops. The room around me swells and begins to spin. I feel hot and heavy as my mind begins to race. I think for a moment I might even be sick. "no” is all I can mutter. My breath is coming shallow and quick. I want to ask if there is no-one else, but by the time I look back at the door, it is bolted shut with the messanger on the other side. That’s when I explode. The grief ad the fear explode out of my, overturning the table and scattering food and dishes all over the floor. It’s only when I taste salt that I realize I have been crying.

Can I not just die? Must I go on living knowing I am so unloved?

I weep into the soft pillows of my prison and think that now I am truly broken. I crawl into bed and watch as the yellow light fades from the stone floor. Tonight I will rest.