POEM STARTER

Submitted by Elowyn Abernathy

Write an ode, but make it sarcastic.

An ode is a poem that normally focuses on a subject in a positive and glorifying light. Think about how you'll make the tone obviously sarcastic.

Paws, Claws and Chaos.

Oh, glorious trio of domestic delight,

How you fill our days with your _endless_ might.

Cats, so noble, with claws of disdain,

Gracing us with glares that could stop a train.


Dear dogs, the “man’s best friend,” you proclaim,

Drooling on furniture—such a noble aim.

Your loyalty is touching, yes, it’s true,

But must you eat garbage? Oh, the gourmet you!


And mice, oh mice, the uninvited guest,

Scuttling through pantries, building your nest.

So charming as you nibble my bread,

Until I discover you’ve chewed through my bed.


Cats, you rulers of aloof detachment,

Your love is a gift—when it’s an accident.

Pouncing on mice like a savage brute,

But only when not licking your designer suit.


Dogs, your barking a symphony of rage,

Every mailman’s arrival a Shakespearean stage.

You chase your tail with wisdom profound,

A scholar in circles, never unbound.


And mice, the tiny masterminds of theft,

Leaving crumbs where order once was left.

Your squeaks are music to a midnight stroll—

A lullaby for the exterminator’s soul.


Oh, harmonious trio, how you entwine,

Turning homes into battlegrounds, so divine.

With fur, drool, and nibbles, you conquer and reign,

Making sure our sanity is never mundane.


So here’s to you, cats, dogs, and mice,

For making chaos your art—oh, so precise.

Our homes may crumble, our patience thin,

But without you all, who needs the din?

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