Your words wound me deeply,

But your silence hurts even more.

When you yell, I know you’re angry.

Because we’ve been there before.

When you say nothing at all,

Just shake your head and stare.

I feel my heart drop and fall.

You almost can’t even care.

We’ve gone through this stuff,

And you told me to stop then.

But quitting it was too tough.

“_I was going to tell you._” “**When?**”

“You should’ve been stronger.”

My inner demons start to taunt.

I couldn’t hold on much longer,

Now anger is something I want.

Instead I get something worse.

A quiet and disappointed look.

I feel its weight on me like a curse.

My guts are impaled by a hook.

By the intense guilt that I feel.

The overwhelming unworthiness.

I was to apologize to you for real,

But I know that I’ll make a bigger mess.

So I hide the tears in my eyes.

And turn my head to the floor.

“**I’m through with all the lies.**”

And you walk right out the door.

“_I’ll do better Dad, I promise._”

And I’ll show you when I do.

You raised me better than this.

And I’m going to prove it to you.