STORY STARTER
There was always a locked door in grandma's house that nobody ever entered. At least not until now...when the door appears to be wide open.
STORY STARTER
There was always a locked door in grandma's house that nobody ever entered. At least not until now...when the door appears to be wide open.
As always your imagery and language are wonderful to read!😀 What do you think about just a little switching around of the first line for effect, something like:
Taken so early in life—only 71. Grandmas Isabella’s viewing was the talk of the town.
(I’ve been learning to look back at the first line and condense it for more effect. I don’t know what you think about this condensation here)
How about adding some sparkle here: “—or in the men’s case danced with her at the parties when they were young.” Maybe something like: how they lifted her off her feet and gave her a spin in the air dancing at the parties when they were young.”
I like that: “memory room”.
Love this: “A couple of older ladies found their way to using a bobby pin on the door.” Maybe you could extend it a bit with a description of how they got it to work, the noises it made—a dramatic stretch before we are confronted with the image of horror!💀😱
The last paragraph ✨⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️✨!
Happy Writing!