I sit on the swing and kick at the dirt below me. He loved swings. Playgrounds. Gosh, if I had just been there to help him…. He could still be here. Tears stream down my face like a tiny flood. I should have been there. I should’ve known. How could I be so stupid! I get up from the swing and stand by the slide. It’s like I can still see him, hear him laughing. In the beginning it was all about the money, babysitting was the thing to do for a quick buck. But when his mom said she could no longer afford to pay me, it didn’t matter I continued to help cause truth be told I loved that family and maybe part of it was that they reminded me so much of me and my mom….. Maybe that’s why this hurts so much.