The air was so thick it was hard to breathe. Not humid but something strange in the air made it hard to catch my breathe. The front of the house was so tattered, the white paint chipping so much you could barely tell the house was once white. Most of the shudders were missing of barely hanging on. The emptiness of the house seemed to engulf my entire soul leaving only despair and pain. The feeling of loss was evident as soon as you step through the door. The wind whistled through the halls sounded more like a mother moaning in sadness. Outside the sun was gleaming fiercely without a cloud in the sky and yet the open windows didn’t let an ounce of light in. The darkness of the house could not be penetrated by anything.

Being there made me feel like a completely different person……made me feel as if I had nothing to live for. All the happiness in my life had been sucked out of me leaving a black hole that was slowly engulfing my entire being. What could have happened here to make me feel like this? The connection I felt to this house ran deep within my veins. My brain was begging me to leave as fast as possible but I couldn’t……I had to find out why I had been drawn to this place. Two months ago I was told of this house by a lawyer of a distant relative I had never even known. I inherited it with a letter than says “everything will be answered when you come home. Always remember you were always loved. “

If only I had not gone to the meeting that day. I wish I had never known the sadness of my beginning……..why would anyone want to know such tragedy and devastation?! My life was so much simpler before.

Before I found out I was adopted. Before I realized I had a twin and four other siblings. Before I realized I was the sole survivor of a family massacre at the hand of my own father……..before I came home to the house where it all happened.