(Heads up: This story is much more fun when you read it in a snobby British accent)

The knight on horseback began to gallop in the direction of our king, they were closing in on us. Our queen made a move toward a few of their squires, a risky move indeed. A few maneuvers and counter moves had taken place during this vicious battle, but no major lives had been lost just yet.

Then, BAM! Just as sudden as lightning strikes the ground beneath your feet, our honored members of the clergy, one of our horsemen, and at least four of our squires were lost in battle. Our last remaining horseman made one revolutionary move and plunged his sword through their Queen’s heart. She took in her very last breath, clutched her heart, and fell back to the ground from whence she came. Their king roared in agony, now the battle had truly begun.

Their clergymen were exchanged for the lives of our four remaining squires. At this moment, all that was protecting our king was the horsemen that had brutally murdered the opposing military’s queen. Their king darted forward, knocking the knight off of his horse and chopping off his head as easily as a butcher slaughters a pig.

Our king tried to defend himself, but he had far less military experience. He began to run, hoping to flee to safety. This hope didn’t last long as almost immediately it crumbled into ash, the blade meeting his chest, piercing him deeply. He fell to the ground, staring at his arch enemy’s unforgiving face one last time…

Then, all of the pieces got up off the floor and returned to the board to play once again. “Goodness,” said the white bishop, “chess is quite fun!”