How does it feel to leave something you love behind? It feels like a tear in my soul, an empty hole that I made through my own actions.

It is nobody’s fault but my own that this hole is slowly consuming me. This desire, this burning flame that seems to consume everything I am, yet I cannot allow it to consume me.

If I do, everything I have done up until now will be all for naught, everything that I have worked towards will be undone in a instant.

And it’s better this way.

I’m not the greatest of people, I’ll be the first to admit that. I can be hard to handle, much less understand.

And I felt understood for once, they made me feel like I was easy to understand and that every one else was the problem.

But that was the problem in and of itself.

My ego expanded and I stopped thinking about if something was wrong or right, letting myself get manipulated into doing anything and everything they wanted me to do.

I like to think that they were innocent of everything, that they didn’t mean for it to go so far. They didn’t mean to hurt me like they did.

But living in denial is worse than accepting reality.

It was their plan to destroy me the moment they laid their eyes on me. My stupidity gave them an opening, an opening they took without hesitation.

Perhaps by me leaving everything will truly be destroyed. My work in shambles either way.

But at least I keep my divinity, my honor, intact leaving this way.

Perhaps I love them, but I love my job more.