I flip the thin page of my book, skimming through my book that I had been rereading.

“How’s the book?” My friend, Ron asked me.

“It’s good. I like how they put in the plot twists once in a while and the characters are all very complicated.” I reply to my friend.

“Nice, hey want to go to the Park and play soccer with me?”

“Which park?” I ask him, getting a bit nervous.

Two of the four different parks we usually go to are often packed with people.Ron only convinces me to come to those ones if we’re only there for 30 minutes.It’s pretty short for playing soccer and I’m a little sorry for ruining my friend’s time but I get nervous if we’re with a lot of people.I know Ron doesn’t really mind but I still feel sorry about it each time.

“It’s that park that was changed a bit.” Ron says, swinging his blue water bottle, which he had filled up while I was thinking.

“Oh. Only 30 minutes please.” I say, biting my lip.

Ron loved playing soccer, it was his dream in his future to get professional at it.Since his school didn’t have a soccer team and his parents weren’t willing on spending money on that he had to practice on his own and I barely helped him accomplish his dream.I always would try to make it up to him of course. I would usually pay for us going to a burger place afterwards.

We hopped in my friends car. He had a students permit to drive.

“Hey Liam? Since we’re friends and all I was kind of wondering something. You don’t have to answer this but..one time you mentioned you weren’t always an introvert. When did you change and how?” Ron asked me, his tone a bit curious a bit cautious.

Should I tell him..?

He’s my best friend so I should..

“Have you ever not been happy with who you are and wanted to change that? What if you changed but it was too much and you are now trying to change just the right amount.Become who you once were but at the same time, acknowledge that it won’t be the exact same thing.But then again life is never that simple,never too easy either, and sometimes....you find yourself lost.Wandering.Trying to find yourself.” I say, forgetting I’m talking out loud and forgetting my friend had asked that, then I suddenly snap out of my mind, clearing my throat.

“Er..nevermind. Sorry, what I meant was that everyone can change but sometimes they don’t know what they really wanted until their wish was granted.” I say, looking straight ahead. I hope my friend didn’t think I was a weirdo now.I had literally just blurted out some deep words when all he asked was why I changed and how.

“So what happened was that I..I learned what life was through experience. Some things made me think a lot I guess and I wanted to change myself but forcing myself to change didn’t work.” I say, a bit softly. I never told my parents this.Ever.

I like to keep to myself and I can be a fun person but I keep that fun self only known to my close friends and family.I’d say I’m friendly with people but I can’t seem to keep a conversation going, I can say “hello” and “good morning” but I don’t know how to maintain the conversation. While my mind may be thinking anything,wondering anything, but I choose my words carefully.

I stare at the glass of the car window, my eyes not really focusing on anything.

“Hey. You good?” Ron asks me, waving his arm across my eyes.

I blink a few times after noticing he had been calling my name. My face burns, I had just told my best friend some random deep thoughts about me and zoning out??

That seems like what a weirdo would do..

I sink into my car seat out of embarrassment.

“Oh also by the way, I invited Matt,Caroline,Addy, and some people from our school to play soccer with us.” Ron says to me, moving the wheel.

Then suddenly the car stops.Ron had put the car in parking mode.

“Aaaaand we are here!” Ron says, grabbing his soccer ball and hopping out of the car.

I walk out of the car to wave at the people who I knew from our school.

And the game starts...