One week after meeting, we decided quickly and quietly to unite. To marry at dawn beside the sea. The cove selected and the officiant hired.

We spent the night apart to be a bit traditional but I could sense there was something very untraditional to come.

At 5am I round the corner of the cove and hear ‘onaona i ka hala’ and my heart melts. I am so deeply in love. Moved by the presence of this human in ways I never dreamed possible.

But wait, three on the beach? The one I didn’t expect is about 3 feet tall and in a tuxedo. It’s dark out and I’m squinting to bring details into sight. It looks like a dark, small shadow. Am I dreaming?

Confused but continuing forward. Who is this third?

Now 60 feet away from the ceremony site, the sky becoming brighter, and now I can see. A chimpanzee right in front of me!

I open my mouth and before I can ask, my love says ‘meet my best friend Ike.’

I have so many questions and fear overtakes me. As if reading my mind, my love steps forward, draws me into a deep gaze and says ‘I train animals for movie roles. Don’t worry they have their own homes except Ike. He lives with me.’

I stare ahead and instinctively my left elbow bends to a close, pinky finger facing forward and thumb near my ear while my right hand crosses in front of my body, the palm placed on top of my left middle finger. And I scream ‘Time Out!’