Dear Bee,

Your shoe is untied.

Did you check? Sorry, that was an immature thing I often did in order to get a laugh but you never laughed too so it was never really funny. My nail broke earlier this morning while cleaning and I searched for hours trying to find it.

I don’t know why. It reminds me of my endless searching for you. I don’t know why, but I do.

-

Pony,

I’m glad you’ve reached out but I do not want to talk to you. You must understand this, right? I never much want to talk to anyone. You are no an exception although I wish you were because when I opened this letter there was a stopping of my heart. If I had died then, would you have saved me?

I did check to see if my shoe was untied. I never understood your humor but your laugh was a sound I could hear forever. Let’s not be silly. Shall I call you Andy?

-

Dear Bee,

Please do not call me Andy. It’s a name I haven’t heard in a while now. If you were to call me that, what would I call you? Your name has always been bee. I remember you chose my name because you hated yours. You didn’t want to be the only different one. I like you because you are different.

I would save you. I thought about it for hours and I would save you. I think I need to know, though, would you save me? I am so lost, Bee. I am so lost.

-

Dear Pony,

Your letter sat on my table for weeks before I decided to respond. I don’t want you to be lost but I don’t have a map. I’ve wandered down the wrong path and can’t find my way back to you. Stop writing me, please. It hurts me to talk to you and you know that.

I did what I did because I had to. I didn’t mean for it to cause such misfortune.

-

Dear Bee,

When we were seven, I finally asked you why your name was Bee. Do you remember what you said?

“Everyone hates bees.”

You had to protect yourself. I never was mad at you. I did bad things. I fell into the pit and couldn’t find a way out. I tried climbing up and digging but nothing worked. I had to get comfortable. I was stuck.

-

Dear Pony,

How did it feel? There were times when I was walking by and would nearly slip in but I managed to walk steady. Was it worth it? Do you ever wish you hadn’t done it? This will be the last time I write you, Pony. I didn’t tell you but I’m married now. I have a daughter that I named Andrea. She doesn’t know who you are.

You were my best friend.

-

Dear Bee,

I like to think it was worth it if it had to be between the two of us. I much rather it be me in here instead of you. Also, I’m happy you got married. Andrea is a lovely name, isn’t it? I’m very proud of you, Bee. I get out of here in three years. I no longer count down the days. Time has stopped moving for me and is now moving because of me.

For what it’s worth, you still are my best friend. I hope you end up reading this letter. You don’t have to reply. It’s hard for me to forget you. I don’t plan on doing so anytime soon.

I want to make sure you know that I never hated bees.