**_Roman_**

Why doesn’t he just understand?

He thought Jeremiah was so good at reading him, but not today.

Roman longs for that understanding. But maybe he doesn’t even comprehend what he is even thinking himself.

So he goes to someone who might.

“Dude, what’s wrong? I can see it on your face,” Cross points out, a worrying look in his eyes. Roman doesn’t normally express his emotions out right. With his emotion absorption abilities, he is so used to other people’s emotion. “Is it your parents?”

This is why he has come to Cross. He knows him.

“No. It’s Jeremiah.”

Cross’ eyebrows shoot up. “Oh.”

“Can I ask what you think of the situation? I want you to tell me the truth no matter what. So you can tell me I’m wrong or partially wrong. Or right. You can say that too,” Roman rambles, slumping into the couch.

Cross puts his hand up and ends his nervous chattering. “Ok, ok. Just tell me what happened.”

Taking a deep breath, Roman begins the story, “It was normal. I was hanging out with Jeremiah. Then he ambushed me! He tried to pressure me to come to his family reunion.”

His friend’s eyebrows furrow and he tilts his head. “Didn’t we all go to his birthday party that had a bunch of his family?” Cross questions.

“Yes, but that was apparently only a small fraction,” he answers, thinking back how stressed out he was to meet so many people. And that wasn’t even all of them!

“Wow. So what did you say?”

“I said I felt like it was too soon.”

“How’d he react?” Cross inquires.

Roman hates fighting with Jeremiah. There was no way he thought his response would make Jeremiah act the way he did. Jeremiah is kind and unassuming. But he wasn’t. Not this time. “Not well. He accused me of pulling away and being distant. Is it so wrong to not want to jump right in and meet his entire clan?”

Cross sighs and leans forward, meeting Roman’s eyes. “No. You have every reason to want to take things slow Roman.”

Out of all his friends, he knew Cross the longest. It’s the understanding glint in his eyes that brings a great comfort in Roman. That’s why he came here. They have this connection that goes unspoken.

It makes him feel better for someone to agree with him.

“But…” Cross trails off, emphasizing the single word. Roman winces, “Of course there’s a but.”

Holding up his hands in a fake surrender, Cross says, “Hey you wanted honesty. But do you want to tell me the real reason you don’t want to go to this meeting of the family?”

Roman is stumped. He doesn’t get it. The real reason? He just told him? “What?”

“Come on, dude. We both know the reason you’re upset isn’t because Jeremiah wants you to meet his second cousins, three times removed or whatever. So what is it?”

Cross is challenging him. Wants him to dig within himself. Find that reason.

So he thinks. He wants—needs to figure this out.

But thinking more about their argument only frustrates him more. Jeremiah is normally so in tune with him. But it felt like he just kept pushing and prodding him until he had nothing left.

Suddenly, it’s like a dam is broken and words pour out of him.

“It’s like he pushes and pushes me to give more of myself to others. I don’t need to broadcast our relationship. It’s like my parents. They used to overcompensate and show their best fake selves when behind closed doors they hated each other.” He’s breathing heavier from the rant. It felt nice to release that.

Just as he’s processing what he’s said, Cross points something out, “So this is about your parents?”

That jolts Roman back to the present. “What?” He blurts out, confused and a bit of shock mixed in.

Cross reiterates the detail, “You just compared you and Jeremiah to your parents. You’re afraid of being like them?” He asks that but he knows the answer. Roman is terrified.

“Of course I am! They had a fairytale soulmate romance. And then it completely imploded. I love him so much and I can’t have him hating me!” He feels tears prick at his eyes, practically stabbing at him to get to the surface.

“Roman, you’re comparing a rotten apple to like…well done steak,” Cross says with the most serious expression while saying the most foolish thing Roman has ever heard. It startles a laugh out of him which might’ve been the goal.

“Those aren’t in the same food groups,” Roman states, his laugh still rumbling in his chest.

It feels so nice to chuckle. To just joke with his best friend.

Cross is a pretty chill guy, so when he practically leaps across the couch at Roman, it shocks him. “Exactly! You are so different than them. It’s because of them that you won’t be like them. I do think that you should talk to Jeremiah about this. We both know he’ll understand,” he advises, giving Roman a knowing glance.

“I know. I just don’t know if I know what a healthy relationship looks like,” he answers, lowering his gaze to his hands, fidgeting with the cuff of his shirt sleeves. Everything that Cross says is true. He knows that. It’s just the application that will be tough.

“I know your trust in relationships is a bit broken down, but what you and Jeremiah have is worth building it back up. You can do that together.”

Roman groans and stands up, heading towards the door. Cross doesn’t even question where he’s going. He knows what he has to do.

**_Jeremiah_**

The flowers are wilting and leaves are falling off trees. He can’t help but sour his environment.

“Primo, you ok?” Ria asks. Jeremiah just sighs loudly and continues being triste. “Not that I don’t enjoy the one on one cousin time because I do. We haven’t hung out like this in a while. But literally every single thing that used to be green is turning brown.” She makes a wide gesture to her front yard where the grass is indeed turning a yellowish brown.

“I had an argument with Roman,” he confesses, burying his head in his hands.

He can’t see her reaction, pero he can hear the shock, “Seriously? What about? I can’t imagine you guys fighting.”

Rolling onto his side so he can face her, he corrects her wording. Because that’s all he has right now. “It wasn’t a fight. Just disagreeing.” He holds onto the hope of it just being a fight. Something about this felt heavier, weighted diferente than any other squabble. But Jeremiah doesn’t understand why.

“Wanna tell me what went down?” She offers, with absolutely no judgment in her eyes.

It lifts un poco off his shoulders. It’s why he went to his prima. She’ll give it to him straight.

“I asked him to the reunión familiar. And he said no.”

Her uno eyebrow raises, expectedly, she gives him a slightly sarcastic response. Which at this point he welcomes. “Is he not allowed to say no?”

“No, he can. It’s just the reason he gave me! He said it’s because it’s too soon. Does he not feel as strongly as I do? He’s my soulmate. I want him in todo part of my life. I want todo el mundo to know him. As mi soulmate.” He feels like he’s pleading. Just to the wrong person.

“Did you say all that?” She questions. But she knows Jeremiah and he wouldn’t be like this if he had.

“No. I barely got the pregunta out before he was shooting it down. He’s pushing me away! Before he can even give us a real chance!”

She sits up and gestures for him to as well. He reluctantly does, leaving the comforting position of being surrounded by nature. “Miah, you want my real opinion?”

Nodding his head vigorously, he says, “Sí. Very much so. Be as brutal as you want.”

She gives him a concerningly gleeful smile, “Ooh. That’s a lot of free reign.”

It gives him a little chuckle. A weak one but one nonetheless.

“You’re right. I do think he’s pushing you away….like a foot back. And I do think the logical next step is to meet the family. But he probably has a reason. Maybe he’s scared with everything with his parents.”

Roman’s parents are a constant, looming presence in Roman’s vida. He finally fully grasps what Roman means when he says how his parents ruin everything they touch. Their negative relationship became the standard for him.

Running a hand through his hair, Jeremiah wonders, “What should I do? He doesn’t always open up very easily.”

If he could without worry of pain or his appearance, he would just rip his cabello out with how stressed he is.

Ria puts her hand on his shoulder, her presence exuding warmth. “Then you talk. Say what you said to me. That you’re hurt. You feel rejected. And tell him how you wanted to share that with him. It’s important to you.”

Their ojos meet and she can see the unshed tears. “And what if he still doesn’t open up? I love him, Ria. I can’t lose him,” he whimpers. He always thought love was easy, but it is so much more complicated than that.

“I can’t guarantee anything, but I believe that you won’t lose him. You both just need to say what’s on your minds. What is it with men and not talking about their feelings. Typical,” Ria rolls her eyes but keeps her comforting position by his side.

“Hey, not all of us are like that!” He defends, gaining a bit more confidence back in his voice.

She gives him a pointed look, and he blushes rosa.

“This isn’t a good example, but I normally talk about how I feel!”

Shaking her head with a soft smile on her cara, she explains, “Yeah, when it’s about nature or anything else. It’s about the heavy stuff, Primo. You can’t be afraid to tell Roman the important stuff. He won’t break just because he has a bad experience with soulmates.”

She’s right. As always. Thank goodness he has her in his life. Someone that will tell him the truth no matter the scenario.

“Ok, I get it now.”

“That’s good because speak of the soulmate,” Ria says, pointing to the driveway.

“What?!” He bolts up, his spine straightening in record tiempo. It’s surprising he doesn’t get whiplash with how rapido his head snaps.

There he is. The keeper of his heart and the cause of this stress.

They hold their gazes, like unspoken words passing between them.

“Well, I’ll let you to get to it. Good luck, Miah.”

With that she strolls away, leaving Jeremiah and Roman alone for the much needed conversation.

———

(Wow this is long. It’s too long and I’m too sick to edit this.)