The wind blows my hair. I’m standing on the edge again. My bare feet on cold hard stone. I shouldn’t be so close to the edge. Shouldn’t be standing so near the end of the building. It’s dangerous, but does it really matter? He’s gone. My Kobe is gone. Forgotten. Buried. Kobe Grey, a charming young man. My charming young man. He would light up my whole world, but now the fire that is him ha vanished. What is a world that is only darkness? What is to become of it? His dirty blonde hair and piercing blue eyes haunt me whenever I close my eyes. The blood, the rain, the flashing lights. I can still see it along with the car that took his life. This was our spot. The spot he kissed me, felt me, saw me. On top of roof of the office building where he worked part time. He was only 20. My mother told me we couldn’t live without the world. How can I live without my world? What if… I took another step. Could I see my lover again? The wind cools my tearstained face as I stand at the edge, pondering. I could take another step. “I take you in like the air I need to survive.” He would tell me. Was there really anything left for me without the air that I so deperetly needed to breathe? Another step. Could it be that easy? Is this the path I want? To see my dear Kobe again? I let the tears run down my cheeks. I don’t want to wipe them away.

I take that step.