The fuse was lit and the explosion came out. After all of those years of bottling all of my emotions, keeping them to myself, they finally came out in a flurry. Showing themselves.

I felt a rush of sadness, anger, fear, anxiety, and mourning. All of the emotions erupted in a rainbow of tears, punches, and hyperventilating. It was as bad as it can be imagined.

It probably wasn’t very healthy to do that, but with no one to talk to about them, it was bound to happen. It will probably happen again but at least I am alive. Right? Maybe…

If only. I live with a fuse ready to blow at any second but I choose to withhold it for the safety and sake of others. Keep the smiles up. Repel the shadows. Serve. Be nice. Listen. Go to sleep. It’s all a pattern with no real friends to talk to about these bottled emotions.

Eh whatever. Keep going.