Look. I could just sit here and make excuses for my part in bullying those three pigs, but come on. I am a wolf....they were three nice, plump pigs and I didn’t take into consideration their feelings in all of that mess. When I looked at them what I saw was limitless bacon.

The other thing is, they could have stayed on the farm in the sty with the rest of the pigs and been safe and well fed. Farmer Jones has that long gun, and he certainly took a couple of poorly aimed shots at me over the years. Instead those three snotty pigs decided they were too good to stay on the farm and set out to build their own houses and take their chances.

Two of them were dumber than a box of hammers. I mean, what kind of idiot thinks a house of sticks or straw is going to be any protection from someone like me who is hankering for a pork BBQ? One big puff of air and those ridiculous flimsy abodes were history. They were just lucky that their kin was smarter than they were and had some actual building skills

Now that was a great house. Brick and mortar and a plan about did me in. I tried my blow-it-all-down trick, but that thing was not about to give it up, so trying to get in down the chimney seemed good at the time. As I said, I was in a frenzy for pulled pork. And besides, I had heard all about Santa Claus using chimneys as a way of sneaking into houses so I thought it might work.

Can I just say I was completely caught off guard when I landed in that huge soup pot at the bottom of the chimney and looked up to see those three wretched pigs laughing at me. I’m a pretty strong guy so I just rolled that pot over and practically flooded the whole house and then ran on out of there just relieved to not have been boiled alive.

Now they are all happily living in the Brick House and I am plotting my revenge. Did you know some guy sells bazookas on Amazon? Who knew?