White and silence seem to be all the world is made of. I blink my eyes a couple of times, and fluorescent lights come into view and the faint sound of beeping becomes audible. It all comes back to me then. The accident. I was driving home from work, and someone ran a red light at the intersection just a block from my apartment. I only remember the impact and then nothing. The beeping becomes faster and soon the door to my room opens and a young nurse walks in. 

“Oh, you’re awake. How are you feeling?” she asks in a soft voice like she doesn’t want to startle me.

“Um, my head hurts. What happened?”

“Oh hunny, you were in an accident, but everything’s going to be alright. Dr. Gonzalez has taken good care of you. You’ve got some head trauma. We had to sedate you for a while and we’re keeping an eye on it, but you should make a full recovery and be out of here in no time. I’ll let the doctor know you’re awake. Can I get you anything?”

“Just some water would be good.” My mouth is so dry. 

“Ok, I’ll get that, and there’s someone who’s been waiting to see you. Would you like me to tell them to come in?”

“Sure.” I know the person that my mind goes to, but I also know that can’t be who’s here.

“Alright, I’ll send them in.”

She leaves and the room is silent again except for the beeping. My mind feels like a jumble of chaos. My mom’s past due medical bills about to be sent for collection. My boss hounding me about a deadline that I informed him we definitely will not meet, which he did not receive well. Driving home, replaying said confrontation with my boss. Lights coming from out my driver’s side window. The impact. It’s all replays in my mind.

The door swings open. The face that had come to my mind moments ago appears, and hazel eyes meet mine. We pause for a moment, locked in each other’s gaze, before he moves all the way into the room letting the door shut with a soft _click _behind him. A moment of silence passes between us, and I’m surprised when it’s my own strained voice that I hear break it. 

“What are you doing here?” 

He looks just the way I remembered. Dark brown hair falls in messy waves over his forehead. Black ink covers his muscular arms, and his light grey shirt fits him as perfectly as though it was made especially with him in mind. The only difference now is that there are slight shadows under his eyes like he hasn’t been sleeping well.

“I had to know that you were ok.”

And there it is. The heartbreak that I felt over a month ago comes back to life. It feels as though it’s got a pulse of its own, overpowering my own heart, ripping open old wounds again. He’s come here to see that I’m “ok.” Once he knows that I’m good he’ll go back to living his life. He’ll go on doing whatever he’s been doing since he told me “this isn’t working.” He must see it in my face. 

“Look, I hate the way things ended between us. I thought about you every day since we’ve had that fight.” 

He pauses looking down at the ground, seeming to be searching for the words.

“When I heard you were in an accident, all I could think about was how I might never get the chance to see your smile again or hear your voice again. I didn’t even care about all that other stuff. All the stupid things that we were fighting about didn’t matter.”

He’s right. All that stuff we were fighting about does seem stupid here and now, between these four white walls. 

“I want to be with you. Our jobs suck sometimes and we don’t always know how we’re going to make ends meet let alone take care of other people in our lives, but none of that stuff matters to me. We can figure all of that out along the way. I’ll go through it all so long as you’re there with me. All I know is that we belong together.”

The backs of my eyes sting with tears. We should have never let it come to this. When we had gotten into that fight we were both overstressed with work and bills coming up and the responsibility of making sure our family members are taken care of. Life kicks you down sometimes, but we never should have taken it out on each other. I smile at him through my tears and say “I missed you.”

He smiles back, walks up to the bed, and leans in to kiss me, his broad frame shielding me from some of the harsh white light. He kisses me gently, but there is a hint of desperation to it. I know he’s missed me as badly as I missed him, but he’s afraid of hurting me. He pulls away and stares deeply into my eyes. It’s been a while since I was able to look at them, and I forgot how much they draw me in. How I feel like I’m where I’m supposed to be when I’m looking into them. 

He grabs my hand, gives it a gentle squeeze, and smiles at me. 

Even though I’m laid up in a hospital bed, I feel for the first time in a long time like everything will be ok.