How did I not see this coming ? I mean yes we’ve been friends for years . This is a person I would probably concider closer to me than my own mother . The secrets we have , the memories, the late night adventures .

Ugh

I sit up from my bed that I’ve been laying in staring at the ceiling wondering why me . Why me?! Why did this have to happen.

Falling inlove with my best friend was not on my bingo card of this year . I mean would she even like me back?

There goes another thing to worry about . It’s a girl. We’re both girls. Do I like girls? I mean clearly I do but I didn’t know until about 8 hours ago .

After pacing my rook back and forth I decided sitting back on my bed staring at the ceiling might be a better bet .

She’s beautiful . Her blue eyes remind me of the ocean in Hawaii . I grew up in Hawaii and her eyes remind me of home . Her smile could light up the darkness like they light up the dark hallways in my mind . Her laugh could cure the nastiest of illnesses and create peace on earth .

Maybe I should just tell her ? The worst that could happen is that she doesn’t feel the same way.

Would this affect our friendship in a way that is irreversible. I got to have more faith in our friendship than that.

Sitting up on my bed I look to my right and scan my nightstand for the picture of us. I take it and hold it close to my chest so tight it could leave an imprint on my heart. I take a deep breath and let out a exhale that lasts for what feels like eternity .

I decide honesty is the best thing I can do here . I can’t keep smelling her hair and smiling like a kid in a candy store and imagining one hundred different way of how we would kiss . How her lips would be softer than silk.

I take the picture frame and I place it back to its original place and grab my cell phone .

Typing in my contacts “ Maddie “

Clicking on her name I see the remnants of our last conversation . Making plans for the Super Bowl this weekend and the food we wanted to order .

Despite the outcome of this I still want those mango habenero wings with onion rings on the side and my best friend with me .

I type out “ hi..” freezing and drawing a blank of what to say next .

Taking another deep breath I type

“ Maddie your my best friend in the whole world which I know you know that.. but maybe .. just maybe I’m liking you a little more than that. I don’t mean to freak you out and if you don’t feel the same as I do that’s fine . I just needed to be honest “

Hovering my thumb over the send button praying to a god I don’t believe in to make this okay. I click the button and throw my phone across the room .

Well that was foolish

I stand up to go and grab my phone

Grabbing it off the floor I pick it up and I see the three dots of her typing back to me .

I throw it again this time on a safer spot like the bed . Hearing the ‘ ding ‘ I know she responded and I run out of the room before I have the guts to open the message . It’s dinner time and I want to have one last meal with my family before potentially everything changes .