I find myself thinking about you and what we could’ve been. I’ve spent hours dreaming of the life we could’ve had ,if I had just told you how I felt and how I still feel about you. I guess things would’ve been different and maybe then you’d love me as much as I’ve loved you or maybe you still wouldn’t. But the thought of not knowing how you truly feel for me, is eating me up inside.

I can hear the laughter that emanates from the room next-door. I envy the man that makes you laugh, painfully so, that man is my best friend, Cole Brenner.

As much as I would like to hate Cole for being with the woman I love, I can’t and to no surprise, I have the misfortune of having him as my roommate.

I wish I could say that it doesn’t tear me apart to see them together, that I don’t long to be in his place. That the thought of her doesn’t cross my mind. But I can’t because more than anything, I’m stuck longing to be with her, my girl, my Sophie.

“Nash, Nash! Are you even listening to me? What are you even looking at?” I hear Alex say as I stare blankly at the picture that rests on top of the shelf . A picture of Cole and Sophie. The laughter grows louder, and Alex notices the picture “ That’s rough. How can you stand it? You’ve been in love with her since I’ve known you. if you’re not gonna tell her how you feel then, Why don’t you just move out and come live with me and forget about her.” “You know I can’t do that Alex. i’d rather see her happy with someone else and have her in my life, than not being able to see her at all.”

He sighs heavily and stands up to leave “ It was nice to see you Nash. if you ever change your mind, let me know. You’ll always have a place to crash.” With that said he makes his way out the door. I sit on the couch for a while longer until I can’t bear the sound of the laughter coming from Cole’s room. I get up to leave, but I hear the sound of laughter stop abruptly, then there’s an utter silence. As I make my way towards the door, I hear a door swing open at a distance and to my surprise I see Cole and Sophie walking out angrily. “ Why didn’t you tell me you were going to California?” I hear Sophie shout. “ Well I’m telling you now! isn’t that what matters? Besides I already told you, I’m going with some friends.” “You could’ve asked me how I felt about you leaving, but of course that doesn’t matter to you, does it?”

The feeling that I’ve crossed the line by listening in on their conversation settles in, so I turn to leave. “ Nash wait! I need to ask you something, are you going to California too, with Cole?” “I… don’t know anything about California!” I say hesitantly. I look over at Cole with confusion, but he gives me a look. “Come on Nash. don’t you remember we’re going to Califoria in a few days with some of the guys.” “ What are you talking about?” I say. “ Don’t you remember I told you a few weeks back about the trip. Don’t you remember this?” Cole shoots me another look as Sophie stares at me with hopeful eyes awaiting my response. “ Oh yeah…I think I remember something like that, but I can’t go. It’s too soon and I don’t have the money to go.”

“See babe I told you I wasn’t lying and thanks Nash for setting things straight.” “ I’m sorry for not believing you. I was just worried. I know Jules lives in California… anyway thanks Nash for clearing everything up. You’ve always been a good friend to me and to Cole... Well, I need to get going I have to get ready for tonight since we’re having dinner with my parents.” I watch as she makes her way out the door, then I turn to stare at Cole. “ Do you wanna tell me what that was all about?… we’ve never planned a trip and you know how much I hate lying so you better have a good reason for making me lie to Sophie.” “ Relax dude. I’m just going out there to meet up with Jules she messaged me the other day and said she wanted to see me, but I know Sophie wouldn’t understand, besides Jules is hot as hell and I’m curious to see what she’s gonna say.” “You can’t be serious. What about Sophie don’t you care about her? If she finds out, she’s gonna be crushed and she might even think you’re cheating on her.” I say angrily, I try to keep my composure, but I can feel my blood boiling. “ She can think whatever she wants besides, if Jules is up for it, I mean I can’t say no to that. And you can’t blame me for wanting to meet up with Jules she’s so much hotter than Sophie.”

“ I can’t believe you would actually cheat on Sophie. if you don’t tell her the truth right now I will.” “Chill dude, she’s not gonna find out… Don’t forget we were friends way before you became friends with my girl. And don’t even think about telling her otherwise ,I’ll tell Sophie you knew along and that it was your idea. I doubt she’d ever wanna talk to you again and we both know that’s the only thing you care about. But she’s mine and I have her dominated so even if you do tell her, she wouldn’t believe you.” he smirks and leaves as if nothing had happened.

I tried to contain my anger. I wanted to go after him, punch him in the face and tell him off for everything that he had said, but in the end I couldn’t help but realize that there was some truth to what he said. How did he know? How long had he known? that Im in love Sophie.

Many days had passed, and Cole had finally left to California. I had avoided talking to him and being around him in general because I couldn’t stand seeing him for what he truly was, and what he had turned me into. I had also avoided Sophie because I couldn’t bear the thought of lying to her. But everything changed when I received a message from her saying that she wanted to see me. I had spent all morning running around town getting things prepared for when she came. After several hours, I heard a knock at the door. It was Sophie.

She looks so beautiful.

I found myself looking into her eyes, I was hypnotized by those deep green emeralds. Unable to look away, even if I tried

We talked for hours, reminiscing on how we had met. Occasionally, taking sips of wine and gazing out the two larger windows that looked over the city below. It was a site for sore eyes but nothing compared to my Sophie. “Do you remember the first time we met“ Sophie said cheerfully “Yeah I remember… I thought you were the most incredible girl on campus. I would hear people talk about the girl with hair as red as fire, the girl that was willing to burn down the whole town if that meant, she could make a difference.

So of course I had to meet you.” I said trying to avoid her gaze. “ I remember the day you came up to me and introduced yourself I was so surprised when you told me your name was Nashville. I had never heard anything like it .” She looked down at her hands with a smile and laughed sheepishly. “I knew early on we would be great friends and I’m glad I met you Nash.”

Before I knew it she had leaned in and kissed me. I had been wanting taste her lips since the first day we met. My heart raced and the kiss grew to be more intense. I kissed her with a passion, not wanting to let her go. I gently place my hand against her face, slowly bringing her closer to me. I push up against her chest wanting more. The tension between us grows stronger and I can barely contain myself. But the kiss slowly dies down. I place my head against hers, breathing deeply and looking into her eyes. I gently kiss her once more, then let her go.

I had been caught up in the moment and the thought of us began to grow, until she said “ Im so sorry, Nash I didn’t mean to lead you on, the truth is I’ve always wanted to know what that would feel like, but I could never hurt Cole in this way. I need to leave and I hope Cole can forgive me for what I’ve done and I hope you can forgive me as well. And once again I’m so sorry. I don’t know what came over me. I think I’ve had too much to drink. Maybe I should get going.” She said as her eyes filled with tears.

“ Please don’t go there’s something I need to tell you…it’s about Cole…” “ What …have you heard from Cole? He hasn’t been responding to any of my messages or my calls and I’m starting to get worried.” “ no…I haven’t spoken to him since he left.” I say as the words leave a bitter taste in my mouth. “ I need you to be honest with me Nash do you think Cole would cheat on me, I don’t want to doubt but I don’t know anymore and if you say I don’t need to worry then I’ll drop the subject. I know you two have been friends for a while, so I trust you.” I sigh heavily looking down at my hands “ there’s something I need to tell you… he went to California to see Jules he told me before he left. I wanted to tell you, but I couldn’t find the words. The last thing I want to do is hurt you by telling you this… but after that kiss, I need to be completely honest with you and I also need you to know that I’m in love with you and I’ve been in love with you. I’ve been trying to find the right moment to tell you but I guess there will never be a good time. “ How can you say that to me Nash? Please don’t use the kiss as a reason to lie to me. It can’t be true. Cole told me there is nothing going on between them. I need you to understand that we will only ever be friends. I’m sorry for the misunderstanding.”

“ He doesn’t love you like I do. Why can’t you see that, and I don’t care if you hate me right now and I don’t care if you believe me or not. I just needed you to know the truth. It’s been weighing on me, not being able to tell you what’s been going on and how I feel for you, but please don’t leave without telling me what it is you feel for me.” I can feel my heart racing a mile a minute, hoping that she’ll say she loves me too. But she stays silent for a while and says nothing. Minutes seem like hours, and I desperately look for those deep green eyes, but she looks away staring at the ground. “I…I can’t deal with all of this right now. I’m sorry.”

With tears flowing down her eyes she simply turns and walks away leaving me alone in the empty apartment.

I whisper to myself in the empty silence “No matter what…you’ll always be my girl, my Sophie.”