When I finally spoke it was with a quiver, an apparent unsteadiness in my voice. Seeing you standing at the doorway even with a screen door between us, made me freeze.

My jaw locked up and my heart began racing. I didn’t know what to say. I felt like my mouth wouldn’t comply even if I tried. Then I gave myself a few seconds to think about it; and to feel how I felt. Then what to say to you came quickly to me. Several orders of magnitude faster than you came to me.

“You’ve come back, but I no longer need you”.

My knees buckled a little bit when I said it. I could have melted, but I did everything in my power to stand tall and firm. I made sure to pull my shoulders back and stand wholly upright.

All those years when you were away, doing not even God knows what, I waited. I waited because I was sure that I knew what my life held for me. I waited because I thought you would be my future.

Turns out you were my past all along. I shut the door and turned back into my house.