It was Halloween again, my least favourite time of year. It brought back too many childhood memories. I closed my curtains catching a glimpse of the sea of costumed children walking past in the yellow pools of the street lights.

I climbed back onto the sofa and cuddled deeper into my blanket eating some popcorn and watching a comedy show, I could not abide horror. The TV flickered drawing me out of my daydream into the past and back to the fake studio laughs. This was the same show I watched every Halloween and before it had managed to keep my mind distracted, but this year it seemed different. The acts of the characters I adored somehow seemed boring and the laughter issuing after seemed distorted and fake. The scene of the well known characters getting into a dispute as one accidentally hit the other with a ladder so the hurt guy pulls out a machine gun and kills him. Wait that wasn’t right, I must have imagined it as looking again the character was still alive and the friends made up like they always do. I got distracted again by my hand connecting with the bottom of the now empty popcorn tub. I had more in the kitchen so I paused my program and left the room.

Sounds of studio laughter wafted back to me as I stood next to the microwave watching the popcorn inch round, the bag slowly expanding as each kernel burst. Hang on a minute I turned it off, my mind snapped back to listening but the only sound now was the whirring of the microwave. I must just be imagining things as I’m nervous. I jumped as the microwaved tinged and carefully retrieved my popcorn, emptying it into the empty tub. Something felt off as I tried to force myself to return to the living room, the corridor seemed too dark, it seemed to stretch on forever. I shook the thoughts out of my head and ran back to my sofa wrapping myself deep into a sea of blankets.

I switched the TV back on and it seemed to drag my mind into its depths, deep into the black screen. Instead of the lovable sitcom characters there stood me, but myself as a child. Standing in front of my dad who was yelling at me to just go to bed. ‘No’ I whispered ‘not this night.’ It was my last Halloween with my parents.

‘Please Daddy.’ I watched myself plead ‘I don’t want to go to bed, the man with no eyes is waiting for me in the wardrobe!’

I watched my dad storm up the stairs knowing I would never see him again. My past self just huddled in a corner waiting for him to return in my naive child mind.