I never wanted to go to the forest this weekend in the first place. But, on the insistence of my two pesky ‘best friends’, I deliberately defied my gut, and my gut has shown me that I should never, ever do that again.

The first harbinger, or harbingers, of doom were the clouds. Great, swirling masses of dark grey just hanging in the sky, looking like a fat man after a Thanksgiving feast, just waiting to burst. That was when I asked my friends if we should just set up camp right there, because it seemed unwise to continue. Lia would have relented, I’m sure, because this level of adventure was too dangerous even for her blood, but of course, Katie broke in saying that it was too early to stop, and if we didn’t continue, we would never reach the lake on time. Besides, she said, she was an expert on predicting the weather, and she knew it wouldn’t rain for at least another hour or two.

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“Wow, I’m glad we listened to your advice, Kate,” I said dryly, just ten minutes after my friend’s great prediction, as we shivered under a rocky outcrop of a small hill to shield ourselves from the pouring rain.

“Oh, loosen up. Look at the bright side!” I found that very ironic, as I looked fearfully at the dark, foggy surroundings and the dreary black sky, electrified by bolts of lightning every few minutes.

“What bright side?” Lia’s teeth chattered as she said this, as none of us had thought to bring jackets for our trek, and in shorts and a tank top, she wasn’t exactly warm and cosy.

“This!” Katie exclaimed, gesturing all around. “Look at how beautiful everything around us is! The rain cleansing the forest, the trees gently swaying in the wind, the lightning just illuminating the forest, the sounds of the wind blowing... all of it is so magnificent!”

In the very depths of my usually very reasonable mind, I thought that Katie had a point. But, right now, shivering in a dark, menacing forest and soaked to the bone, I didn’t see any of that. I saw rain pouring down and flooding the forest, making the ground muddy and wet. I saw the trees shaking so violently that if they shook any harder, their tops would probably end up touching the ground on either side, like tall, dark contortionists. I saw the lightning throw all the terrifying features of the forest into greater relief, and strike too close to our shelter for my liking, burning one poor tree to a crisp. I heard the wind moaning and wailing like it was an extremely sad and angry opera singer. I thought of all the innumerable reasons why I would rather be anywhere else on the planet at that moment. Anywhere but stuck in a thunderstorm in that wretched forest.

“Besides, we haven’t been able to sit down for a good chat in weeks! So what’s going on with you, girls? What’s the latest on the grapevine?”

“Well, I’m wet, cold and muddy, stuck in a terrifying thunderstorm in a forest that I never wanted to go to, and scared for my life because that bush near the base of that silver oak is rustling very suspiciously. Also, I’m starving, I’m thirsty, I’m pretty sure I’ve sprained my ankle, I have a purple polka dotted caterpillar crawling up my leg, and I really, really have to pee!” Katie’s thousand-watt smile faltered at my angry monologue, which I finished with a loud harrumph.

Lia sighed and intoned, “What she said.”