This would be a lot easier if you would stop looking at me like that, I thought to myself. Yet another thing I should be saying out loud but, my vocal chords constrict anytime a word starts to form and I wind up choking down my own spit. We've been through nearly everything together in these past few years, which has made the guilt of hiding this part of myself from you amplified. Like a slap in the face. Why are you hitting yourself? Why are you hitting yourself?

"GOD DAMMIT" I yelled and hit the heel of my hand against the side of my head. I'd like to tell you about my powers, how they came to be and what I've been doing with them. What neither of us need, is me losing control over them. Surprise babe, I absolutely should be back in a psych ward. I turn my head to peek at you through my peripheral, you're sitting on the couch looking back at me. Confused but patient, your eyebrows furrowed with some concern. Green eyes used to be my favorite until I saw your brown, safety is in your eyes. Seeing you in front of me slows my heart rate down to controllable levels.

The words are swirling around in my head in loops and cycles. A stiffness starts to form in the back of my neck and the cells of my skin start to vibrate, I have to cut this tension and just say anything. The words won't come out perfect no matter the planning so just- "I can transform, or shift into anything or anyone living. Past, present or future. However, if I go to the past or future- I leave this time, not like time is linear but anyways that's a whole other story and I just needed-" I pause mid-monologue to glance nervously back in your direction.

Confusion and concern have grown on your face, you're pushing your hair back with one hand like you do when you're bracing yourself for bad news. That's fair, you've seen me during actual mental breakdowns. I couldn't explain to you then I was freaking out over these powers but now's my chance. Speak up or lose you, and the latter isn't something I could handle entertaining. "Please let me finish and I'll prove it to you" I warble before clearing my throat. Our eyes make contact and you tilt your chin down in a nod, there isn't tension in the air. But there's a thin string that can't be broken by my spontaneous outbursts, message received.

"As you know, I've never been able to remember before the age of 6 and my mom told me I was almost brought into court before things were dropped. Well, since I was born disabled and my mom refused surgery..." my voice trailed off as I realized how this was just going to sound like another wild theory of my beginning. Not the first of it's kind. "And then what?", your voice gently cut through the anxiety in my head and I meet your gaze before I continue. "The medication they gave me was an experimental drug. I had no idea what was happening to me or how to control any of it until I started meditating more seriously. Please remember that I love you when I show you this. When I get into a meditative state and think of someone or something I want to experience..." this time I paused to close my eyes.

In through the nose, out through the mouth. This used to feel so forced and difficult, I can't believe the difference practice has made. Fuckers were right after all. In through the nose, out through the mouth. Who should I be? My sister is an easy one, we don't look too differently so hopefully it won't be so jarring. In through the nose, out through the mouth. Visualize. I feel my skin start to vibrate and shake, keep breathing. Visualize. My eyes split into two and the second pair is near sighted, just like my sister. The hair usually across my upper back starts to stretch, tingling down to the middle of my back.

I'm much faster than I was at the start but I don't want to scare you off too terribly. God what a ridiculous thing to think as I stand here, shapeshifting in front of you. The final vibrations set in as the breath through the nose changes pressure.