The holovideo flickered to life, and my subleader's image sharpened into focus. "Today is February 14th, Earth Standard Year 2025," it stated. "Before we begin, I regret to inform you that our second agent could not join us due to something called 'Verizon and its spotty connection.'" I adjusted my posture, arranging my host's facial features as I prepared to give my report. Kevin smirked, earning a look from the subleader. "Something to contribute, Kevin?" “What was that, subleader?” Kevin straightened. "Can you hear me now?” The subleader acknowledged the connection was solid, and I almost burst out laughing—but contained myself. "As for Agent Eve," the subleader continued, "she was reassigned after her previous planet suffered, as Earth's most powerful human would put it, a… rapid unscheduled disassembly." My amusement faded at his Elon Musk-ian words. They were an apt, if sterile, description of my near annihilation. The blinding eruption and subsequent violent pull of gravity. My—our—station had twisted itself into oblivion, and I was flung through space at near-light speed, barely holding onto consciousness. But I had survived. Where they had not. They, the nameless agent and presence that had been tethered to me through endless cycles, were gone. The silence that had followed was unbearable, and so I had chosen not to dwell. Grief was after all… inefficient, and unbecoming of an agent. And yet— "Eve?" The subleader's voice, though barely registering, interrupted my thoughts. "Eve," it repeated. "Do you also have a Verizon problem?" “A what?” I blinked, before realizing what he meant. "No, subleader. My connection is stable.” It studied me for a second longer, then asked, "Eve, is there something wrong with your eye?" Panic welled within my host, and I resisted the urge to let it take over. Instead, I nonchalantly rubbed my right eye and carefully adjusted my host's expression to one of quiet confusion. "No, subleader. It is fine.” But I knew what it had seen. Nestled under the blue of my iris, was a single tear. I was succumbing more frequently to emotion, which was surely due to the cumulative impact of these human experiences. My experiences. After a pause, it nodded. "Proceed with your report." I inhaled. "My mission was to investigate a human concept called Love. Our analysts suspect that it may be a form of weaponized mind control." The subleader steepled its finger-equivalents. "And your findings?" I tilted my head slightly, strands of dark hair shifting with the motion. "At first, I hypothesized love was a parasitic phenomenon, primarily afflicting males. The longer they remained bonded with a female, the less wealth they retained." Kevin nodded knowingly. "I observed similar behavior in a place called Las Vegas." "Exactly," I continued. "But as I deepened my research, I realized love operates more as a type of psychological warfare. Humans willingly subject themselves to a cycle of hope, disappointment, and expensive meals in pursuit of what they call 'some.'" Kevin scrunched his host’s face. "Some of what? Can I get some?” The subleader silenced him with a look. "Humans do employ countermeasures," I continued. "Drinking fermented liquids. Eating frozen milk fat engineered by two specialized humans named Ben and Jerry. Or by declaring their independence publicly on a network owned by an entity called Meta." Kevin let out a low whistle. "Great name for a company.” "Right?!" I quickly smiled, then returned my mouth to a line. "My most significant finding occurred during routine data collection at a human food market called Aldi's." The subleader's brow arched. "Explain." I hesitated. "I encountered an anomaly. A male cashier named Tom." Kevin raised a brow. "Sounds wealthy based on his title. And politically connected.” "No. He merely… scans my items." Eve clarified, shaking her head. Kevin rolled his host's eyes, and I ignored it. "At first, I thought nothing of it. But then… something unexpected occurred. One day, while I looked into his eyes, my host experienced an elevated heart rate, coupled with a minor loss of speech function." Kevin made a face. "It sounds viral." Then, turning to the subleader, "I volunteer to probe—" "Stop!" The subleader's voice was sharp. "This is exactly why humans make movies about us. We are not that kind of agency. No probes." Kevin sulked, but did not argue. I pressed on. "I initially did suspect contamination. But as I returned to Aldi's, the anomalies persisted. I was no longer collecting data. I… wanted to be there. My logical self struggled to differentiate between my host's emotions and my own, and I believe I was, as humans say, falling in love." “Go on,” the subleader urged, while Kevin scoffed. "Last week, Tom invited me to a park," I continued. "There was a beach, and when he…" I swallowed, "removed his upper garments, I noticed his abdominal region was… sculpted. Like the reinforced plating on our space movers." Kevin let out a low whistle. "That’s high praise." I nodded. "And then…" I curled my fingers slightly, trying to ground myself. "He engaged with me in a human form of affection known as a… 'kiss.'" The subleader's brow lifted. "Explain." So I did. I shared why we were both neck-deep in the water, his hands resting on my waist and cheek. How the warmth of his skin against the cool night air, caused a surge in my host's heart. Where, at the point our lips touched, I had felt his feather-light warmth spark against my skin. And when, as the electric pulse followed, I was nearly overcome with ineffable sensations that made me lose control of— The subleader tapped his console. "Eve, your vitals appear… elevated. Are you okay?" I exhaled, trying to calm myself. "I am… fine, subleader." He nodded. "There was something else," I admitted. "A response I had not anticipated. Not just my host—but me. I was not just observing, I was feeling." Kevin leaned back. "Eve, I hate to say it, but you might be compromised." The subleader shook his head. "No, Kevin. She is evolving." He opened his mouth, but the subleader swiped at his console, and Kevin's screen went dark. I barely noticed, my mind replaying the kiss. "Anything further, Agent Eve," the subleader urged. "Tom invited me to dinner. Tonight," I chirped. "And I accepted… for the mission." The subleader studied me. "Do you suspect he has any knowledge of your true nature?" I considered that for a moment. "In the last month, I did observe that he visited a flower shop, a bakery, and a jewelry establishment known as Jared. Other than that, his behavior has been within parameters.” The subleader emitted a faint hum—the equivalent of a human chuckle. He tapped his console, transmitting a file. "I am sending you a briefing that you may find… useful." I quickly scanned the data. Then felt my cheeks flush as I read the words: human mating rituals. I quietly thanked the subleader and was about to end the call, when my subconscious screamed at me. Rescanning the data, I froze. Buried in the details was a name. It was a name I had not spoken in forever. One that caused me to tremble, only I did not realize its significance at the time. I had been sent to Earth to study love. To determine if it was a weapon. But what I had found was something else. I had found them. Tom. Or rather—the presence within him. And neither of us had known. Until now. A slow unsteady, breath left me, as my eyes burned, and before I could stop it, tears slipped free onto the green fabric of my dress. I reached to close the connection, but the subleader stopped me. "Eve." I looked up, horrified. My new life as an agent on Earth would certainly end now that it had seen me cry. Instead, I was shocked when its expression softened. "You are our finest agent," it said. "But for tonight, I ask that you simply… be human." I couldn't speak. The subleader, master of our Earthen contingent, had just given me permission to _feel_. Before I could respond, it swiped the connection closed and the room went silent. I exhaled, my heart pounding, as an undeniable realization settled over me. I was under mind control. I was in love. And I couldn't be happier.