The couple was really bloody unhelpful.

Sputtering and stammering all over the phone. Me and the lads could barely make out what they were terrified of, much less prepare for it.

So we took the lot. Grenade launchers, rocket launchers, one of the tanks, the whole artillery.

Believe me, if you’ve seen what I’ve seen, you’re taking the artillery. In this day an’ age of genetically mutated vegan faff crawling out of your sandwiches, your home, your bloody neighbour’s outdoor swimming pool, you can never be too damn prepared.

We ‘hoorah’ onto the ground in alpha formation, ready to breach the house. We’ve already cleared the street of their lush-living inhabitants in case it gets ugly. Boy do I love it when it gets ugly. Just letting some real firepower loose on the bloody things and causing a real right rampage—

My radio kicks with a sharp piercing blast.

“LOOK ALIVE! 3 o’clock-“

Good lord above. This one’s huge.

“Prime the armoury!”

Guns ready up around us as the weapons begin to warm up, charging until ready to fire as we watch the living horror crawl out of the porch facing window.

I’ve never seen one as bat-ugly as this one. Spider looking thing about the size of a car, weird looking set of eyes and…well whatever.

It’s dying anyway.

“Ready…”

The mutant braces itself as if it’s gonna…

Oh shit.

“LOOK OUT IT’S GONNA JUMP—“ I blurt out, but the incoming order cuts me off.

“FIRE!”

A thundering blast of our entire arsenal releases into the general unfortunate direction of the giant spider, shaking the ground under my boots.

I’m not even looking there anymore.

It’s gotta land somewhere. It’s gotta be somewhere, gotta be close, gotta be—

“6 o’clock on the tank!!”

The squad spins around just as the offending creature slams into the tank, sending it skittering across the road and thudding into what was previously a beauty of a motor, teetering before steadying back onto the treads, barely avoiding flipping over.

I pull the trigger on the railgun.

A soft rumbling sensation filters through my hands as a beam of light cracks into the beast, before the roaring sound of sparkling energy plumes into my ears.

It’s over already. The big grizzly thing slowly slides onto the floor with a thud.

That’s why I hate railguns. Too damn efficient. Didn’t even get to fight the bloody thing.

Buck pops up from the tank’s hatch. “Holy cow bud you nearly damn killed us!”

There’s a pipe-sized hole through the middle of the tank. Must have just barely missed my boys inside.

“Nawh I knew you’d be too busy soiling yourself over that dent in the tank from our new friend over there to be front and centre.”

We throw around some unsavoury sailor talk before heaving the now deceased thing onto the truck, strapping it down and heading back to the base.

Boss said we’d never find one of these anywhere in the city.

He owes me 30 dollars.