They would call me fat

My friends would try their best to stick up for me, cussing them out with no hesitation

Leaving me to laugh and point, although I still felt humiliated

I knew that my friends comebacks weren’t enough to heal the wounds of their words

When I would get home from school, I would stand in the mirror, sucking in my stomach and trying to fit into my big sister’s tighter clothes

I was insecure

I decided to wear my sister’s clothes to school to see if they would say the same things about my weight, but it only got worse because they noticed that I was trying to avoid them

They called me “stuffed” and it was the first time I heard the term, “obese”

I decided to do my research on that particular word

I was familiar with being called “fat” and “overweight”, but I’d never heard someone call me “obese”

When I read the articles about how the obese weighed more than the overweight, I cried and that was the first time I contemplated killing myself

I didn’t want to go to school.

I didn’t want to eat anymore.

I didn’t want them to call me fat.

My Mom had enough of it

She got sick of the excuses that I’d make up for not being able to go school

Like, “I was sick” or “I wanted a day off”

She started to force me to go to school, ignoring the excuses and lies

I faked as if I was going because I would walk to school

Then, when I made it out of her eyesight, I went through a shortcut, and sneaked back into the house through my window

Silly of me to think that she wouldn’t find out because I still came up as absent in school

She decided to go the school counselor about someone potentially bullying me, but

I’d never told anyone how I truly felt so they had no real evidence

I asked my Mom if we could start going to the gym and she said yes so I started to exercise in order to lose weight

It helped me to lose a few pounds, but I still

looked fat and I still couldn’t fit into my sister’s clothes

One day, I’d had enough of trying to fit their beauty standard

I took my sister’s medication to attempt to overdose, potentially killing myself

It didn’t work

I went back to school after about a week, but this time I had a therapist to give me strategies on how to cope with my weight

Rumors spread that I attempted suicide and everyone started to praise me

That month, we had an assembly about bullying

They stopped calling me fat & we became associates