“Nate?”

“Shit …”

“Nate, are you here? Nat-“

Nate stops packing as James bursts into his room. James’s eyes freeze on the large green suitcase, overflowing with creased and hastily thrown in clothing. “What are you doing?”

“Why are you here, James?”

“Ellie called me. Said I need to come asap. That you are going mad.”

Nate cuts a short loud laugh. “That’s one way of describing it.”

“What’s going on? Why are you packing?”

Nate looks at James carefully. “Is that all she told you?”

“Yes.”

Nate sighs and lets his arms fall freely to his sides. “I’ve decided to move out.”

“What, like … overnight?”

Nate shrugs, tight-lipped. His gaze drops to the floor.

“What happened, man?” James comes into the room and stands closer to Nate. “I’ve never seen you like this.” He tries to touch Nate’s shoulder in a comforting way, but Nate steps to the side, still avoiding his gaze. “Did something happen at the party last night?”

Nate remains quiet, but his breathing fastens and his hands start jittering. He moves to the side of his room and starts taking objects from his desk, grabbing a book, grabbing a stapler, grabbing a framed picture of James, Ellie and himself smiling, grabbing a bunch of pencils, losing his grip, everything falling on the floor.

“Nate.” James’s voice is stern now. He comes behind Nate and grabs his shoulders. “Stop panicking. Whatever happened, I’m sure it’s going to be okay. Just breathe.” He starts breathing aloud and slowly exhaling.

Nate, still turned away from James, starts inhaling and exhaling following James’s breaths. After 30 seconds, a minute, he calms down. “That asshole Brett brought Jagermeister,” he says with an annoyed voice.

James, sensing a change in tone, cackles. “Jagermeister will do it. Did you get absolutely smashed?”

Nate, now calm and resigned, continues, “Yeah. Enough to remember things unfortunately.”

“What happened, man?”

Nate turns around. Still avoiding James’s gaze, looks through the window. “Ellie cornered me in the kitchen. Started pouring us both drinks. Started asking really intimate questions.”

James steps a step back and looks at Nate. “Did you two hook up?” he asks. Nate opens his mouth but doesn’t respond. “I mean, I guess it’s okay,” James continues slowly. “We broke up ages ago. I just didn’t think … a one night stand, between the two of you …” His face gets screwed up. “No, no,” Nate jumps in. “We didn’t hook up. We didn’t even kiss.”

James breathes out and his shoulders loosen a bit. Nate continues, words blabbering.

“She is asking me things. Talking about how I am too secretive. Asking me about who I am into. Pouring me drink after drink. I’m telling her please stop. I tell her I don’t want to tell you. I’m telling her can you go away. I say to her I’m in love with you. And then I panic and close myself into the bathroom. I vomited and then locked myself in the room for the rest of the night.”

The word vomit stops and Nate looks at James with a terrified look in his eyes. James looks back at him and his mouth slowly curls into a smile. After a second, her starts laughing. Nate still stares at him with an unsure look in his eyes.

“Is that what it was? Oh god, I thought you’d killed someone, they way you were panicking.”

Nate is still looking at him quietly, waiting for the inevitable.

“So you’re in love with Ellie. That’s okay! Were you worried that I would react badly?” James continues, and hugs Nate.

Nate looks confused. “What?”

“You’re my favourite person to be with her - as long as she likes you back, of course,” James smiles.

“I am not in love with Ellie.”

“But you just said - …”

“I’m in love with you.”

James’s eyes narrow and he steps back again. The look of confusion grows wider on his face. “I’m sorry?”

Nate is now breathing normally. The truth is out and, like the proverbial toothpaste, he cannot squeeze it back in, so he might as well let it spread. “I’m in love with you. Have been for years.”

“I … I had no idea.”

“I know. I’m really good at pretending. As long as there is no Jagermeister.”

James tries to smile, but his lips cannot move. “Why … why didn’t you tell me?”

Nate shrugs. “Why would I? You’re straight. Would you have been interested?”

James looks at him with a pained look in his eyes, but remains quiet.

“I thought so. … And I didn’t want to lose you as a friend.”

“You … you wouldn’t lose me. You won’t lose me.”

“Are you sure? Are you sure it won’t get awkward?”

James lets his breath out. “I don’t know. I hope not?”

“I guess we’ll have to see,” says Nate. “Either way, I am packing. Not moving out necessarily. But going on a trip for a couple of weeks. Clear my head.”

He zips the suitcase, still messily overflowing with clothes, books and picture frames. He rolls it across the rooms and through the door, leaving a speechless James behind.