“Listen,” Brenda Bear interrupted. “I saw what you did last night. And I’ve told everyone.”

Bernie Bear gave her a blank face. “You saw what I did last night and-“

“That’s right and I’ve told everyone,” Brenda said, crossing her furry arms across her furry chest.

“What are you talking about, ‘What I did last night’? I didn’t do anything last night,” Bernie said.

“Oh really? What do you call that thing you were doing with the tree?” Brenda said. “I saw you rubbing up on it!”

“Oh, that?” Bernie laughed, “I was just wiping my ass after doing my business, you know.”

Brenda stuck a finger in his face. “No. No, I don’t know what it is you were doing, but it was completely outrageous.”

“Well how do you do it, princess?” Bernie Said, his paws on his hips.

“Not like that!” Brenda shot back. “That was disgraceful and it won’t be happening again. I’ve told everyone.”

“Right, you’ve told everyone. Who’s this ‘everyone’ your talking about?” Bernie smirked.

“Betty from across the river to the east and Bertha from the south caves,” Brenda said.

“Ha, ok. Not that I have anything to be ashamed of because a Bear has a right to wipe himself anyway he sees fit in his own damn neck of the woods-“

Brenda huffed, shutting her eyes in disgust.

“Just be quiet a second, ok?” Bernie said. “Not that I care who you told, but nobody socializes with Betty from across the river because she stinks, and nobody will believe Bertha from the south caves because she’s a raving gossip who’s almost as bad as you!”

With Brenda’s jaw dropped, Bernie turned to walk away.

“I also told Benny,” Brenda called. It was her turn to smirk.

Bernie stopped. “Benny who’s on the council?”

“That’s right, and he was just as shocked as I was,” Brenda said.

“Ahh, Fooey on you,” Bernie waved his paws at her and began walking away. “I didn’t do anything wrong.”

Unfortunately, the high Bear council disagreed with Bernie. Standing before the nine Bears who represented all the Bear tribes in the region, they ordered Bernie to never wipe his butt on a tree again, upon penalty of excommunication.

Bernie agreed and the matter was closed. He never again rubbed his back side against a tree, nor did any other Bear.

Unfortunately, Brenda wasn’t the only one who witnessed Bernie that day. A nature photographer was hidden in the bushes recording everything.