Endangered

deserves better. I’ll explain, he doesn’t know about my life he doesn’t deserve to get involved, i love him but never fully showed it for his sake. I was 7 when my mom was having her second baby, my little sister gracie. it was a home birth, they pulled my father out of the room where my mothers screamed, i sat around the corner waiting. i heard them gravely say only one would survive. My father gasped and calmly said; her. I remember beginning to shake as my face flooded with the tears that ripped my face. after a few minutes the screaming stopped and i heard “cornelia, cornelia. time of death 12:19 pm”. This was the last memory i had of my mom alive and i held onto it. It was on my mind all the time, i began to realize and blame. The first time i blames my dad- he killed my mom, i didn’t want a little sister anyway she stole my attention and cried nonstop, i didn’t want her. Angry, i decided i was going to confront my dad. My dad got home from his job at the barbershop at 7:16 pm. Awaiting him, i sat on a chair next to the front door; it was 7:19, and my impatient 7 year old self grew antsy. finally i heard a door slam shut and the door knob jangle-it was interrupted by another slammed door and the loud muffled bass from a car stereo, the door shook harder and faster, i heard a deep voice scream hey as the door opened revealing my dad who had been shot in the back by the deep voiced man. i sat there crying holding my lifeless dad in my arms for hours until police showed up, i was given to live with my dads brother who explained when i was a little older why my dad had been shot. it turns out my dad and his brother were apart of a gang and my dad was killed because he wanted out “for his kids” my uncle told me. Growing up my uncle wasn’t home often and just more of a friend than a guardian. by the time i was 12 my uncle was hugh up in the ranks of the gang which meant he was a higher target. Constantly having to be on the run and hide and be in dangerous situations was very stressful; but i knew Gracie was my number one priority. So when he came along, another person i loved a didnt want to lose or endanger like my mom or Gracie, so skeptical of gangs watching me and finding things out i never showed him i cared that much but i do. Someday i hope i can tell him, I could move to mexico with Gracie and him and there we could live happily ever after in a safe environment. Then i could show him i really am in love with him.