She died because of me and no one knows it. I would talk to her at lunch and ask her what she liked. If only I had asked her how she really was. She could push me away but I wouldn’t stop trying. I would annoy her forever if I had to to get her help. But that’s not what happened. I could tell though if I asked she would have told me. If no one else realized I should have. I was the only one to remember her birthday. And on New Years she said she was happy to be alive. But I wanted to ignore her struggling and pretend like everything was ok. She gave me so many signs. She would hint towards it but never directly say it. She just wanted me to ask, someone to ask. Anyone else watching would have seen it. But no one else cared. No one else cared because they didn’t know her and didn’t want to. Didn’t want to know someone who was suicidal. Why? Why wouldn’t you want to help them even if you didn’t know them? Even if they were weird or different. But I can’t say anything. I was there, I knew her and did nothing.I didn’t want her to kill her self. But I guess I didn’t care enough. I am in the hospital now and feel alone. The room is silent just like me. Her sisters are crying. And tears start to slowly pour down my face. I didn’t know her well but I still cry. I shouldn’t have come here. I don’t know why I did. I guess to be with her family because I was her “friend”. Her parents were abusive and mean. Yet what did I do? What will I do? Nothing. Nothing but watch those girls die. Because I wasn’t brave enough to speak up. Maybe I never will be. Maybe I’ll be next to die. Maybe this is a never ending circle death and guilt, and pain. So if someone looks off, or seams sad , ask why. Get help. Maybe you will be braver and better then me. Or maybe the circle of death will continue, I don’t know. That’s up to you.