The Gift of Unanswered Affection
Until recently, I believed love existed on a system of exchange: you offer up kindness and kindness is returned to you; you demonstrate loyalty, and loyalty is returned to you; you set your heart wide open, and it is cupped gently around you. It wasn't until I felt the sharp pain of unrequited love that I realized how much more complex — and lovely — love can truly be.

It sneaked up on me unsuspectingly, softly, like daylight gradually giving way to twilight. A friend, whose laugh was the sound of a song and whose voice seemed to address my very soul, became the subtle center of my universe. I surrendered easily in little ways: coupons for bad days, spontaneous coffee calls, and listening with no thought of reward. I had thought, perhaps optimistically, that my kindness would naturally grow into something greater. But as the years went by, I realized that nothing was growing.

When the reality set in that there was no possibility of my feeling being reciprocated, depression set in. I was initially angry with myself for being overly generous and for giving too much to hope. But months later, there was a more nuanced kind of wisdom.

Unrequited love taught me that true love is not a bargain. It has no strings attached. Love at its core is a gift — precious not for what it might bring back, but for what it dares to give. It takes courage to be there even in uncertainty and even in loss.

This newfound consciousness transformed how I navigated the world. I volunteered more, appreciating that niceness is its own reward even if nobody else ever realizes it. I worked on my homework, finding enjoyment in learning, not the A's. I nurtured relationships without keeping tabs. I fell in love — not just with individuals, but with ideas, moments, and endless possibilities — without hope of reciprocity.

Unrequited love did not make me bitter; it made me more generous. It taught me that fulfillment is not found in having my feelings returned, but in knowing I loved deeply, honestly, and without regret. As I look to college, I carry this lesson with me. In the classroom and beyond, I know it will guide how I interact with the world.

Unrequited Love.