Again

this is broken. this is pain. this hurts. what happened? what happened to you? to me? to us? you said you loved me. we planned a future. i loved you. can we still work? can this broken potential work?

Comments 1

Norris Reynolds

3 years ago

Nice work. Short, pointed, and raw. The formatting fits the subject/theme. I also dig no caps, lends to the informality found in the intimacy they have(had). The only thing I’d do is Lose the last line. Instead, maybe consider changing the title to ‘Potential’ or ‘Broken’ or ‘Broken?’ to allow the reader to make that connection instead of feeding it to them directly.

Well done.

addie

hello! im a 13 year old writer who hopes to be an author one day.