I could’ve done better.

I sit and ponder where I went wrong.

I could’ve done better, so why didn’t I?

The simplest answer is because I didn’t think.

So what is thinking, I ask myself ?

So many questions spinning around my head.

I toss and turn,

Searching for an answer, everyday.

I ask myself; why didn’t I think?

I don’t know. My mind is fogged, clouded with pain.

The pain that no one else sees.

No one else believes.

So if no one believes the pain is real, no one knows why I didn’t do better.

Time and time again, I go backwards and forwards in my mind; thinking of everything and nothing simultaneously.

The stress of life ramps up, that mental pain, turns to physical pain.

Yet no one knows the pain is real.

So why aren’t I doing better ?