I held her hand tight, and I wasn’t ever letting her go. Not until she was ready. I could see the look in her eyes that she wasn’t ready to be let go of. She was caught in between holding on, and being free.

She felt things were going well, getting better, and things started looking up. She would get a feeling of reassurance and happiness that she hasn’t felt in a long time.

The universe even throws an unexpected nice man onto her path just so she can start to try to move forward. She gets caught up in the laughter, the good days, the fun conversations, being treated with respect, and she almost starts to feel like herself again.

Then in a split second, she thinks of him, her ex. The one who abused her, trashed her, and treated her like she was absolutely nothing. She started to miss him, wonder about him, and thinking is it really over?

She knows she shouldn’t, she just can’t fully let go of the almost 3 years that they had together.

She fought so hard for someone who never cared about her well being, she wanted a family with someone who tore her down every drunken chance he got. He broke her heart into a million pieces and left her shattered over and over again.

She doesn’t want to feel the heartbreak, the crushing and agonizing pain he continues to cause her. Just as she was almost ready to let go, she grasped my hand so deeply, and tears came rushing down her face. Is it too soon for me to be talking to someone else? Will my ex text me out of the blue soon? Is it really over? Can I start healing? Or is there a chance for him to change and give me everything I’ve ever wanted from him?

So I took her into the bathroom, made her look into the mirror, and I told her, “we are going to be okay, this heart broken version of us is only going to be here temporarily. I am the healed version of you, and although you will be very hurt, sad, and in a lot of pain when you start to let go It’ll be my turn to takeover for us.

Then we will heal and be the unexpected version of ourself that we can’t even imagine right now”.

He never deserved me, and I will heal from everything he tried to take away from me.