Oh, sweet glow of the screen,

Your relentless shine bathes me in your artificial warmth.

Who needs the sun, that overrated star,

When you keep me company at 2 a.m.,

Reminding me of emails unanswered and dreams deferred?

Hail to thee, traffic jam!

You majestic symphony of honks and exhaust fumes,

Where I spend my precious hours contemplating life’s grand design—

Or simply counting how many red cars pass by.

Surely, nothing brings us closer to enlightenment

Than inching forward at 5 miles per hour.

To thee, oh notifications,

You delightful interruptions of my fleeting peace.

A text! A like! A work email! Oh joy!

How thoughtful of you to remind me

That silence is the enemy,

And rest is for the weak.

And let us not forget the blessing of small talk,

Those profound exchanges of “How’s the weather?”

And “Busy day, huh?”

Oh, the intellectual feasts we share!

Surely, Shakespeare weeps with envy from his grave.

Modern life, I sing your praises,

With a heart full of caffeine and a soul half-charged.

For who could long for simplicity,

When complexity is so deliciously exhausting?

Thank you, dear age of progress,

For giving us everything we never asked for.