Four Days Ago
I open my mums front door and head into the living room.
She has her makeshift home office set up in there at the minute. I keep telling her she needs to move it to the spare bedroom.
She takes her glasses off as I walk in.
“Hey is G upstairs?”
“Uhhuh he doesn’t come out of that room unless it’s to grab food, you know that” she said.
I roll my eyes. He doesn’t have a reason to leave it, that’s why. Mummy does everything for him.
“Does he still think someone is watching him?”
She sighs “He’s just anxious, it’ll pass.“
“I don’t know mum, I think you should take him to a doctor, it’s the same signs Dad had before… anyways I just want to return his switch”
I could hear him pacing in his room as I walked up the stairs.
He must have heard me, the door opens just as lift my hand to knock.
His head bowed, eye contact makes him uncomfortable, always trying to make himself less noticeable.
He still towers over everyone in the family at 6ft 6.
“Hey”
“Hi” he says, chewing on a green hoodie string.
“Just returning your switch” I hand him the bag.
“How’s everything going?”
“Fine”
Always the chatter box.
“What ya watching?”
“Just a podcast”
He clearly just wants to be left alone as he rocks back on his heels.
“Ok, well I’ll leave you to your peace and I’ll see you later ok?”
“Ok, bye”
He steps back and closes the door.
It’s always hard work trying to get a conversation out of him especially if he isn’t feeling up for it. I just let it go though and leave him to it.
I head home and think nothing more about it.
Four days later all I can think is I wish I hadn’t let it go.
I should have made more of an effort to speak with him, to find out what the podcast was about, to show I cared and hoped he was ok.
Because that was the last time I’d see him.