✨this story is supposed to show what it’s like to live with a personality disorder. With everybody telling you one thing, but you perceive another.✨

I tilt my head up to the orange sky, the black clouds skating above my head, gathering on the horizon. It looks like a storm was coming soon. “Hey, beautiful day?” An elderly man tilts his cap to me.

“Um..yeah. Can’t help but feel like a storms coming though” I laugh.

“Storm uh? Nah, clear blue skies for the rest of the week.” He smiles.

The wind rushes in, as I pull my cardigan tighter around me. “Getting a little nippy out.”

“Weather said 18 and sunny. Maybe your coming down with something lass.”

“Yeah...maybe” I smiled as he hurries on about his day and I trudge off to meet my friend. _18 and sunny, clear _**_blue sky. _**_Man was clearly a nutter._ It felt like 5 degrees to me.

I humph onto the bench next to my friend. “Hey, scorcher out today.” She greets me.

“Um...don’t you think there’s a storm coming?”

“Nah, lovely day.”

“If you say so.” I sink down on the bench. “I’m bloody freezing!” I shiver for emphasis.

“It’s anything but cold! Are you alright?”

“Yeah I’m fine, maybe just coming down with something.” I watch the wind chase some litter down the path, probably left by some unruly kids. I wish that I had thought to bring some gloves with me.

“Hey are you sure you’re okay?” She frowns.

“I said I was fine.” I snap, feeling immediately guilty at the raised eyebrow. “Look, maybe I’m not feeling great. I should just go home.” I stand to leave.

“Okay, but call me later, so that I know you’re good.”

“Yeah, see ya.” I huddle deeper into the soft warmth of my cardigan as I walk. Keeping an eye on those black clouds that seemed to be darkening to a deep onyx.

I sit down in front of a boring programme on the tv, thinking about the conversations that I had that day. Blue sky, 18 and sunny, are you okay. _Why do they not see what I see. What was wrong with me._ I drift in my thoughts until I hear the distinct ping of rain hitting the corrugated steel of my shed roof. _No storm indeed!_ I thought as I looke out. The heavens opened and the rain runs in rivers, a proper cloud burst, that drenched the town in seconds. I watch for a while before I call my friend, now she would have to believe me about the storm. It was happening right now. 

“Well what do you think about this rain then. Told you a storm was coming.” I gloat at her “hello”.

“Rain? A bit of drizzle sure.” She laughs, “wouldn’t call it a storm.” 

I frown as I watch the rivulets run down my window pane, their courses bending with every gust of wind as they made their way to the ground. “Drizzle? It’s pouring down.”

“You always have to make a mountain out of a mole hill don’t you.” She chuckles.

“Yeah,” I laugh half heartedly, feeling like an idiot as I watch the heavy rain splash on the pavement. “Just really called to say I’m fine, but maybe I should get an early night.” I sigh.

“Sounds like a plan. I’ll see you later.”

“Yeah bye.” I hang up before she could say anything else. _This was way more than drizzle! Every bodies gone stark, raving mad!_

A flash of lightning lights up the darkening night and I open up my black door to watch the atmospheric pyrotechnics. Purple sparks of knife lightening cut from cloud to cloud, lighting them up grey. The heavy grumble of thunder sounding like the gods were at war in the heavens. I watch for a while, until I get too cold from the biting wind.

“Did you hear the thunder last night?” I ask my mum excitedly the next day.

“Thunder? Probably just a truck on the road.” 

“No it was thunder, lightning and everything. There was a storm last night!” I was practically shouting at this point.

“I must have slept right through it then.” She busys herself with a project.

I huff. Slept through it at 6pm, _yeah right! Utter madness! _I sulk. Finishing my cup of tea, fast, as I hurry to get back home, and leave all this insanity behind me.

_Blue sky, orange sky. White clouds, black clouds. Hot, cold. Next they’ll tell me that the grass is red and the weekend starts on a Wednesday! Is it me? Why can’t they see what I see. What’s wrong with me? _No it’s them, they’re blind, stupid, mad. I saw the storm, I watched it for half an hour. Why did they not see? Is it me?

I huddle on my couch, safe and warm in my house, watching the mind numbing tv. Wrapped in a soft blanket as I debate with myself, over and over again until I fall asleep. One last thought dragging me down into the dark _what is wrong with me..._