There was a collective gasp of dread and concern.

“I’m fine. It’s not my blood.”

Elena held up her red hands, her long brown hair pulled into a ponytail.

It was midnight, or it was when Elena woke up my family. That could have been hours ago, all I knew was that there was blood on Elena’s hands. A lot.

“What happened,” my mother asked, hiding a warm cup of hot chocolate in her hands. She seems awake, even though she wasn’t. This was probably like a dream for her. A bad one.

“I-it was dark,” Elena looked into my eyes, her hands held out in front of her.

“Please,” she whispered, “I need your help.”

I shook my head. The last time Elena needed my help it almost cost me my life.

“Elena just go home,” I said, stepping in front of mom.

“Just deal with this,” I waved a hand, “Thing on your own.”

Elena dropped her dark red hands, “Logan I need your help. I didn’t mean to do it. I thought I didn’t. I thought it was okay, what if he answers me. What if he hates me now?”

She started crying, half from fear and half from the loss of sleep.

Part of me thought this wasn’t about the blood, maybe it was about something else.

“Did you do something?” I asked, stepping out the door and shutting it. My mother didn’t need to hear this. And more reasonably I didn’t need to hear it again. Mom would tell me, she’d think it was a dream. And I’d have to hear all about it.

Elena nodded, as she took a deep breath. Her hands started shaking, “I told him thank you,” she cried, “I said thank you, and it had been a year late. What if he answers, I’ll be so embrasssed. I don’t need that. I don’t want it.”

Maybe this was a dream, blood, thank you, embrassesment. Maybe it would have all clicked if I weren’t so tired.

“Huh?” I asked, letting my eyes fall to the ground. Elena’s feet were bare, she was wearing socks. Brown from the dirt she had to walk through to get here.

“Please Logan. I told him thank you. He doesn’t need to know that. I bet he doesn’t even like me. It’s all in my head and I’ve just ruined my life. Tell me I have-no don’t.”

My eyes met hers again, “Elena. How does that match, blood and a late Thank you.”

She shook her head tears falling to the ground, “I don’t know! All I know is I made a mistake, and I need to fix. . .it but I can’t. It’s over, I can’t even pretend I didn’t do it because I did. And not matter what I do, thst will always be with me. The truth. . . It’ll follow me like a lost puppy-reminding me I’m not perfect,” Elena let out a small sob, “And it’s true.”

She falls to the ground, and I stand there. The only light coming from the porch light above us. It flickers, as Elena looks up at me.

“I can’t fix this. I can’t go back, I can’t change the past. It’s ironic right? I can’t change the past and yet that’s all I try to do,” she lets out a sad little laugh, “but maybe it’s not ironic, I don’t even know what that means.”

The porch light flickers again, “Elena what did you do?”

She stands up, “I sent an email. To,” she leans closer, “him-He’d never answer but I feel like I acted weird. He’ll never see me the same again. Never.”

What’s the big deal? Maybe I should just fall to the ground. That sounds nice, sleep.

“I don’t get it.”

Elena sighs, “I can’t undo the email. And I need-“

I hold up a hand, “What does that have to do with the blood?”

She looks at her hands, “I lied.”

She lifts her shirt to reveal a giant gash. It’s across her whole stomach and is bleeding like a waterfall.

I stare at her, all the sleep I used to have is now gone, “You-you,”

She nods, “I told you. I embarrassed myself. It seemed like the only option. It is,” she pause, “the only option.”

I shake my head, “Elena it’s not.”

A car drives by, it’s head lights turn on. Elena jumps, her face growing pale white.

“Logan if there was another option I’d take it. Don’t you see that. . .”

I didn’t see that, embarrassment sucked but hurting yourself it seemed a little up there.

“Just help me Logan.”

Elena grabbed my hand the feeling of the dried blood made shivers run up and down my spine.

“Kill me.”