Sitting in this desolate room as I think

Boredom and exhaustion at my feet

I wake in somber of leaving my rest

My bed that hugs me like a teddy bear

Oh how I wish to stay and wallow in my own filth

To pour my eyes out and complain about trivial work

School has me stressed and I want to bedridden

But, oh, would that be an insult to those who are?

I am lucky to have a warm bed and roof over my head

I am so lucky to have two loving parents who want to save my pretty little head

It tastes sour to relate pretty to myself

If that is self hate then I shall cry

Cry and weep because that is how pitiful I am

I stare at the ceiling

I reach out to it even though I know I cannot reach

Not unless I stand up

Move! Wake up! Snap out of it!

You are not that weak

Are you so shameful that you can’t see who you are

You are strong and brilliant only as you see fit

If you keep in the dark you will never meet the light

You will go blind

Get up and take those few steps

Turn on the light

See your hand and you face

Look at it and don’t look with grotesque

I open my eyes

Staring into space but there is nothing to look at

Not until I make it right

Make something to see other than your blurred vision

That’s it!

You lack control

You feel that you lack dominance of yourself

You lack the confidence

“You must take control of your life to have one”

That’s what I say now

Such realization have gotten me out the bed

Gotten me to study what I hate

Gave me light where I thought there was only dark