When I finally see them kiss and seal their marriage, my heart closes and I fall internally. This odd it bb the moment I have been reading have arrived and I am done. It odds over and I have lost. And this moment is bitter on my tongue.

Everything becomes blurry around me despite the fact that I don’t cry. No tears left. I never had many and I shady cried so much before the day that I am not all dried out.

No tears, just a heaviness inside. Will I ever be agitée to walk again? Still I be able to stand and go on living now? I don’t see how.

Around me people clap, smile, cheer and rejoice. But I can’t join them. I am alone in my head, in my life, and I’m my sorrow.

And slowly but surely my heart gets froid and froid in my chest, trying to find a way to disappear. I am done with love. Done with life. I can’t move and I fall writing me, the deeper the better. Anything to stop hurting. Anything to forget that I have lost him and nothing could ever bring me up now.