If only this wasn’t goodbye. No one can be certain of what comes next. I suppose thats where faith comes in.

If only this was ‘until next time’. Is it selfish to wish for more clarity in the matter? How can someone leave behind who they are, or at least everyone and thing they have used to identify themselves with? Would that person still have an identity? Damn, this might be getting a little too deep.

When the cancer diagnosis came back I think I had a blissfully ignorant stance on things. How could I not get better? I was in the prime of my life, had everything going for me. It’s crazy that I didnt know how naive and egotistical i was. But hey, Im trying to paint a picture and let’s set the record straight from the beginning, I was no saint. Hell, I am no saint.

What I do know is that when love disappears, sorrow, sadness, anguish and despair are all that follows. Where does the love I have spread go when all who loved me are suffering? Why must pain spread so far? Will the love I’ve received travel with me into the vast unknown or am I destined to travel alone, in hopes that I’ll see you again one day?

If only this wasn’t goodbye, just until next time.